Kieran Nelson

Member since January 16, 2008

Member for 18 years, 4 months

member

19 Poems

218 Comments

1 Follower

Most recent

The Sweetest War

Posted May 12, 2008 · 43 lines · 8 critiques

and with a single, misfired,

Unthinking word,

The pyres are lit,

The troops are roused

And the horns are blown.

Then onto the plains,

with standards high,

Our armies march.

The beat of our war drums

Ring out across the hills,

Vibrations tearing

Destroying the landscape.

Read the rest of the poem Show less

Across those shattered fields

Our Warriors drop,

Into the deepest,

Darkest valley,

Where the battle truly begins.

They grapple and flail,

Back and forth,

Wrestling for position;

The “one up”, the “coup de grace”!

Fiercer now

and with unrelenting malice we continue,

The blood of our hearts spilling,

Drenching,

Blinding our sight.

As we reach our peak,

The sky gives way,

Crumbling apart.

Then the salt rain flows,

Our armies retreat,

Washing the blood,
Redeeming our hearts,

and with an embrace we fall back.

Kieran Nelson’s timeline

January 2023
15 Sun

Anniversary
15 years of membership
January 2018
15 Mon

Anniversary
10 years of membership
January 2013
15 Tue

Anniversary
5 years of membership
May 2011
23 Mon

New follower
@magics02
May 2009
25 Mon

Critiqued
"post existence." by @GKCSMAC
"Point taken, but do you not feel that by the fact that you had to write a somewhat lengthy explanation that the poem did miss the point as a whole? You may not write to "impress" or not aim for professionalism, but this…"
January 2009
15 Thu

Anniversary
One year of membership
November 2008
06 Thu

Received a critique
on How To Die Gracefully from @BareBacker
"Hey John Rafferty here, was curious if you were up for my poetry nights they're about to start first is in 13th Note..... Or have you died gracefully from the poetry scene Email back"
September 2008
05 Fri

Received a critique
on How To Die Gracefully from @BareBacker
"Hi Currently looking to put on a few low key poetry nights in Glasgow. Wanting to put on a poetry slam...im interested in your work. I work with Big Word in Edinburgh. Would be happy if you could get in contact with us…"
August 2008
06 Wed

Critiqued
"HOPE OF THE DISPLACED" by @t. reflexion
"Wow T, I really liked it. Very powerful but not in a cajoling way. It was jsut pleasent to read. I especially like the last two lines of the 2nd stanza: "To acquire this artificial limb That now drags me along desolated…"
06 Wed

Critiqued
"sad flowers" by @orgami
"Hi O! I'm afraid I can't comment too much on the content, as it's a bit abstract for my tastes. However I liked the 2 different sides to the poem. A very introspective take on a situation, with a nice peice of imagery t…"
July 2008
28 Mon

Critiqued
"Profound request" by @Ale
"I read this with interest, as the style seemed a little olde worlde, and my assumption was quite true. Well done on keeping that atmosphere and feeling throughout, without using the word "thou". I would say however I fo…"
27 Sun

Critiqued
"So Beats the Heart" by @tbeaudet
"Very nice, it has a nice flow, and of course it paints a lovely image of the woman herself. Your use of the repeated lines has a sort of chorus feel to it. Regarding those repeated lines, I would make one suggestion. I…"
01 Tue

Received a critique
on The Sweetest War from @orgami
"I loved 300 love story buddy story betrayal loyalty ideals principles avenge an epic as is your poem!!"
June 2008
29 Sun

Received a critique
on The Sweetest War from @infinite_dwarf
"Good to see you posting again. Inspired by 300, eh? What a disturbing movie to use as an inspiration! The flow was very nice, and it was almost like the reader was standing on the battlefield themselves! ~Jess K. ------…"
27 Fri

Received a critique
on The Sweetest War from @DarkinAZ
"I really enjoyed this tale of war, and the embracing at the end, shows that when all is said and done, we are still human. Sincerely, Mark"
26 Thu

Received a critique
on The Sweetest War from @Janice Pearce
"Kieran,I loved this you did an awesome job with this. Hooray!"
May 2008
15 Thu

Received a critique
on The Sweetest War from @Candlewitch
"Wow... breath stopping account of this battle! Always, Cat"
12 Mon

Received a critique
on The Sweetest War from @rider68
"Brilliant Account, Flowed really well, very clever and great read, Best Regards Peter ~~~~~~~~~Creativity Is to think more efficiently~~~~~~~~~~"
12 Mon

Posted a poem
The Sweetest War
" "
Open thread 43 lines
09 Fri

Critiqued
"he is good, good" by @doye deji
"The thought behind it is clear and there's some good ideas there. However I feel that due to, one, the lack of conjuctive words and, two, the large line spacing you've presented these seperate ideas and thoughts, as jus…"
09 Fri

Critiqued
"The Driver Left A While Ago" by @What We Have Known
"Hello there! On reading the poem a few times, I have to say It comes across a little too cryptic. Also I'd say that the few rhymes you've used seem very tired and forced, I think it would have been much better, and make…"
April 2008
23 Wed

Critiqued
" It's Confusing" by @Rolwright
"So you didn't take anything we said about your last poem into account? I understand you've said don't critique the mechanics but I'm going to anyway. Put it in stanzas, then the rhymes will work, and I won't lose my bre…"
01 Tue

Posted a poem
Princess
" Outside in the doorway"
Open thread 24 lines
March 2008
28 Fri

Posted a poem
I Like My Things in Boxes
" I like my things in boxes"
Open thread 19 lines
24 Mon

Posted a poem
Cotton Wool
" "
Open thread 28 lines
19 Wed

Most-discussed work
The Little Death

12 critiques to date.
19 Wed

Posted a poem
The Little Death
" Mind boggled and eyes rolled"
Open thread 38 lines
12 Wed

Posted a poem
Thank God
"At the head of His church"
Open thread 18 lines
05 Wed

Posted a poem
The Moon's Great Choice
"The moon is blind,"
Open thread 28 lines
04 Tue

Posted a poem
Solace
"Solace"
Open thread 26 lines
February 2008
28 Thu

Posted a poem
Boredom
"drip"
Open thread 18 lines
28 Thu

Posted a poem
Over Indulgence
"Fatius Fingers floundering for French Fancies"
Open thread 8 lines
15 Fri

Posted a poem
Ebb
"my ebb"
Open thread 11 lines
15 Fri

Posted a poem
Nomorrow
"Tomorrow shall bring"
Open thread 43 lines
15 Fri

Highest posting month
February 2008 — 7 poems
January 2008
16 Wed

First critique offered
on "The Mechanical Bird" by @Sinbadthesailorman
16 Wed

First publication
How To Die Gracefully
15 Tue

Joined Neopoet
Membership begins

First poem published 1 days later.

15 years of membership

10 years of membership

5 years of membership

"post existence." by @GKCSMAC

One year of membership

on How To Die Gracefully from @BareBacker

on How To Die Gracefully from @BareBacker

"HOPE OF THE DISPLACED" by @t. reflexion

"sad flowers" by @orgami

"Profound request" by @Ale

"So Beats the Heart" by @tbeaudet

on The Sweetest War from @orgami

on The Sweetest War from @infinite_dwarf

on The Sweetest War from @DarkinAZ

on The Sweetest War from @Janice Pearce

on The Sweetest War from @Candlewitch

on The Sweetest War from @rider68

"he is good, good" by @doye deji

"The Driver Left A While Ago" by @What We Have Known

" It's Confusing" by @Rolwright

February 2008 — 7 poems

on "The Mechanical Bird" by @Sinbadthesailorman

Membership begins

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