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O
orgami
Aug 06, 2008 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

sad flowers


sunshine strewn with saddened flowers
silted with a rain that never stopped
sandbank remains in parking
lots and nameless streets

the lost years tortured
and stolen
the blackened heart interest

the walls that are broken
built
surrounded by fresh
teeth
digging into new chance
the bright hope that
reachs me
behind the walls

where I seldom speak

the hot sun forgives
toppling the mortar of
my prison

the ghost of you sends
poems of love
and fading photographs
of limestone cliffs

those days you understood
the darkness
and the pain


— orgami, Aug 06, 2008

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KN

Kieran Nelson

17 years 10 months ago

Hi!

Hi O! I'm afraid I can't comment too much on the content, as it's a bit abstract for my tastes. However I liked the 2 different sides to the poem. A very introspective take on a situation, with a nice peice of imagery to kick things off - I liked the backwards nature of the first line. Then on to the second part, a more emotional heartfelt part. Was that your intention? You mention walls and such in the first part of the poem, and I think the slightly emotionally cut off nature of the writing - more descriptive than feeling - brings that grey concrete wall feel. To round off, I didn't understand the specific content but I did enjoy the way it was presented. Kieran My Blog, Adventures of a Glasgow Poet http://www.adventuresofaglasgowpoet.blogspot.com
O

orgami

17 years 10 months ago

digests of lost hearts

the earth is fresh and the cage is open the flutter moment has been given and you have gone your life anew in distant lands where live winds caress your dark lucid brows and touch delicious breasts i am waiting in ancient rains my heart of dirt filling with each gasping tear will you find me my flower will you sing your song my crypt soul devouring your throat words
weirdelf

weirdelf

17 years 10 months ago

Haunting often comes to mind when I read your poetry

Again it seems incoherent at first reading then assembles itself in my mind as a powerful impression. You are a major poet man. Glad to see you gaining confidence in that, never forget it. Your beauty of expression and powerful yet simple use of langague, generously, makes you the archetypal poet to me. No crit. cheers, Jess