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Bunch of Needy People !

Submitted by docmaverick on Thu, 2012-08-23 09:28

Misfortune searches for another like same
because misery loves company;

a challenge enjoys another challenger
but, needs a loser for a victory.

The wealthy really don't care for the rich
but, there are networks to be made;

the blue-blooded wealthy would rather ignore the rich
with the way they're always stealing the shade.

Complainers want something to complain about
someone else, must fit that bill;

the greedy are always hungry
but, they never get their fill.

Dishonesty waits for a victim
hopefully, one who's not regrettably broke;

the impatient shove to exit the door
apparently late for their next smoke.

The discouraged desperately need inspiration
but some would rather just sit, and mope;

all in all, we're a bunch of needy people
really, just grasping at hope.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

weirdelf

Sat, 2012-08-25 22:11

weirdelf's picture
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You address serious issues, which I always admire. Yet I feel you left out a very important thing. The rich people's contempt for the poor and their need to make them poorer, so more controllable. Well, that's my soap box. I hope I didn't misinterpret your poem.

A crit
, "hope". [neither the comma or the inverted commas are necessary, I think it would be better without them]

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

weirdelf

Wed, 2012-11-21 03:40

weirdelf's picture
Volunteer badge

Sorry it didn't attract more attention.
Perhaps ask yourself why.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

docmaverick

Wed, 2012-11-21 10:52

docmaverick's picture

...maybe a little too much mundanity.
Well, jt's too windy to be hauling rocks.......and way too wet to plow so, guess I'm taking the day. off
Later on,
doc.

Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==

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