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Dimensional Dementia

Submitted by docmaverick on Tue, 2011-11-29 10:52

Fractured psyches, Frankenstein
practicing professions
guinea pigs all in a row;

always on, slightly off
Wikipedestrian logic
dimensional dementia says it's so.
~
Plastic personalities
put Achilles heels foot forward
recycled dreams float high above the roof;

erogenous enablers
emotionality outcries,
dimensional dementia has the proof.
~
anti-skeptic scandalousity
shituation's bleak
if something threatens to back-up then, just let it;

traded wills for circumstance
you crazy diamonds all shine on,
dimensional dementia deserves to get the credit.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Happy Holidays?
Editing stage: 
Editing - polished draft

Comments

docmaverick

Sun, 2011-12-11 05:57

docmaverick's picture

...whoops! There it is.....whoops, there it is! Thanx for reading.
Sincerely,
docmaverick.

Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==

author comment

the_fool

Sun, 2011-12-11 03:44

the_fool's picture
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it seems a bit scattered, like it's about to make a profound point but just stops.
the line 'emotionality outcries' really reads a bit off.

wikipedestrian? awesome word. original, i hope?

docmaverick

Sun, 2011-12-18 05:31

docmaverick's picture

...I think. Hopefully, I "fixed" that awkward spot; and as for the word,

Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==

author comment

docmaverick

Sun, 2011-12-18 05:31

docmaverick's picture

"wikipedestrian"....yeah, it's one of mine.

Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==

author comment

docmaverick

Sun, 2011-12-18 05:30

docmaverick's picture

Sincerely, thanx;
for the comments.
doc.

Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==

author comment
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