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Terracotta
My heart it is made of terracotta
Do not break it even if you feel you gotta
If you do please bury all the pieces deep
Where the Devil and Angel's go to sleep
I will try to live a life with an empty chest
A life with no heart, no love only emptiness
Any tears that may fall I will save in a glass
Drink them before bed in a toast to my past
Dream of happier days from my long ago
When I use to let my love like a river flow
Before my heart was made of terracotta
Before I became persona non grata
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Geezer
Tue, 2022-08-09 08:28
Keeping meter...
I like this piece; simple but hard to do because
of the every line rhyme.
I think that the perfect meter for this, works out to be nine beats.
Don't be afraid to chop out words to keep the beat even.
As you can see, it is possible to keep enough of the line in each case
to let it make sense, and still keep the meter.
My heart is made of terracotta
Don't break it if you feel you gotta
If you do, bury the pieces deep
Where Devils and Angels go to sleep
I'll live a life with an empty chest...
I would love to see you finish this up. ~ Geezer.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
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Depressed 1
Wed, 2022-08-10 01:18
Thanks
Thanks Geezer
https://www.artofelpaso.com/
Candlewitch
Tue, 2022-08-09 13:02
hello Depressed
I like this simple poem it is gentle and sweet.
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Depressed 1
Wed, 2022-08-10 01:19
Thanks
Thanks Cat
https://www.artofelpaso.com/