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The Deep Woods

Submitted by Depressed 1 on Sun, 2024-04-21 02:48

I took a walk in the deep, lonely woods

I came upon a dying weeping tree

Knowing a lot less than I ever should

Wondered if anyone would weep for me

Darkness fell like a heavy sword from the sky

As I faded into the warm, peaceful earth

I wondered what it would be like to die

Will I disintegrate slowly into the surly dirt

As I contemplated all of my lost days

Above me, a dark canvas did lowly hang

All of my hurt slowly started to slip away

Will never leave these deep woods again

Editing stage: 
Editing - polished draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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Comments

neopoet

Sun, 2024-04-21 08:50

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The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

Your poem "The Deep Woods" captures a sense of solitude and contemplation within nature. The imagery of the deep, lonely woods and the dying weeping tree evokes a feeling of melancholy and introspection. The theme of mortality and the uncertainty of what comes after death is also effectively conveyed through your words.

One suggestion for improvement would be to work on the flow and structure of the poem. Consider refining the rhythm and meter to enhance the overall impact of the piece. Additionally, you may want to explore varying the length of your lines to create a more dynamic and engaging reading experience.

Overall, your poem shows promise in its exploration of deep emotions and existential questions. With some fine-tuning and attention to structure, it has the potential to resonate even more with readers.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Geezer

Tue, 2024-04-23 01:41

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this piece, I thought about what you might be saying. I hope that what you are saying is that you have resolved to stay in the peacefulness of the forest, where your fears are calmed, and you find tranquility. I hope that is so. ~ Geezer.
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Depressed 1

Tue, 2024-04-23 09:58

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Thanks for reading. It is part of the meaning. The other part is what I think you hope it does not mean. It is me feeding the forest with my nutrients until none is left .

https://www.artofelpaso.com/

author comment

Geezer

Wed, 2024-04-24 09:13

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that your life is wracked with such pain. Hopefully, you will find that you have reason to write; as I can imagine that there are others of you out there who will find that they too, can survive and give others hope with their message. Be well, ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

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