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Brain Rush
Liquid thoughts darkens my soul.
A storm on the horizon of my heart.
Wicked muses entangles deeper than
my spirit. Brainworks burn my psyche.
The crimson flows deep and intense.
So painful, I can live no longer.
Poetry is the living soul of a writer
By Pixee
Migraines consume
every part of this hollow shell, that contains
my psyche.
home.
The potency of the brain ruch is astounding.
I cry scarlet tears. . .
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
Geezer
Sun, 2011-02-20 12:04
I really...
liked this one. Just a few little tweaks, to make it flow a bit smoother? Take away the ess at the end of darken[s]. Replace the ess on entangle[s] with a d. Put [in] in between deeper and my spirit.
Brainwork burn[s] my psyche.
Migraines fill my hollow soul
The potency of a brain rush is astounding.
I cry scarlet tears
Just suggestions, ~ Geezer
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Pixee
Mon, 2011-02-21 06:16
I appreciate
you calling me on my mistakes. I'm still not good on my spelling and
what to use the correct word/s. You have helped me a lot. Thank you
for critiquing my poem.
Poetry is the living soul of the writer.
by Pixee
author commentwolfycat
Sun, 2011-02-20 12:57
hi:)
I liked the intensity of this write.
One observation:
oh gosh...Geezer already said it:)))
kind regards,
wolfy
I forgot my old signature so this one will have to do for a while!
Pixee
Mon, 2011-02-21 06:22
I agree
with the both of you. I need to be more dilegent(sp) on my
poems. I am still a little ruff in poetry but am getting better
due to poets like you letting me know what I need to do
or not to do. Thank you for your time to critique.
Poetry is the living soul of the writer.
by Pixee
Friends,
Pixee
author comment