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Just one more Spring

Dear God in Heaven, it is time
to let this Winter come to end;
none too soon, let shorter shadows
fall with the reborn sun’s ascent.

Spring--oh most joyous time of year!
The phantom on my sundial clock
again grows stronger. Now arrives
the robin and a starling flock

to fill the air with pleasant notes.
Too, here and there a lark does sing,
the crocus shyly lifts its head
to welcome new, still bashful Spring.

One sees an old man in his yard;
he’d seen this season oft before;
but each time of a reborn year
young Spring lures him outside his door.

He tends to beds of tulips now,
with aching back, but still for fun;
he knows that soon he will be gone--
at least--he saw the springtime sun.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Good content but is there a reason you didn't have rhyme in first stanza but did in all others?

mistakenly I clicked on the near-rhyme category. It was meant to be a rhymed poem. Thanks for reading, Jerry

author comment

Hi, Jerry,
I feel so many different emotions while reading this: joy, anticipation, mixed with a bit of forlorn or lonely feelings. But mostly the wonderful gratitude felt with the approaching arrival of Spring! Tender title.
Thank you!
L

You have this posted as free verse - appears to have a strong rhyme. (?) :)

thanks for reading, I meant this to be rhymed but clicked the wrong category. Thanks again, Jerry

author comment

A poignant final stanza.
Your language, as usual, impeccable.

obi.

I sure appreciate you reading this, Jerry

author comment

I so love your style of writing , it is so descriptive I can see it all
You are a rare breed keep it coming and I will keep reading

Chrys

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thank you for your ever so nice comment. I'm truly touched and honored, dear lady. I shall comply. Jerry

author comment

the warmth of the sun on my back as I read this one. Yes, the younger brother of Summer will put a little spring in one's step! Nice stuff, helping to bring the warmth back to us all. ~ Geez.
.

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from 8pm until 9pm [EST] this coming Saturday. Stop in and
shoot the breeze with the Geez. Our Chatroom is open 24/7
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I always appreciate your input, kind sir, and this one is especially welcome since this poem wrote itself. Call it Automatic Writing. I never had a chance to sccew is up, lol. Thanks again! JerryK

author comment

I feel like it is approaching something profound in the last stanza but doesn't quite make it there. For me, the problem is "at least," which seems to trivialize the end. I'm not sure what you are trying to say here: that the beauty of springtime is worth the inevitable death, that without death there could be no spring, that somehow man's participation in the garden of spring is what creates the value, or something else. In any case, the "At least" interferes with any more substantial meaning I might take from the poem beyond a lovely scene. I'm not sure what would be a better rephrasing since I'm not sure what you want the takeaway to be.

Lots of good points you have made. but once I write something down, it's carved in stone, lol. However, I will be more careful in the future and keep your words in mind. Trust me, they aren't wasted on me. Thank you,much appreciated.
JerryK.

author comment
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