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Sonnet 13 to forbidden Love

Your beauty did not wane with fleeting cheer;
What bold adventure would I not accept
On your behalf, but for this truth: it’s clear,
Your love broods in bewilderment, and kept
From mine—all for the sake of being true.
So I concede; I know you cannot break
A solemn pledge that’s still upheld by you,
Not likely to be shattered for my sake;
But since I must depart, one final thought;
I pray you won’t forget these words I say,
With which I end a love that’s been for naught?
Then know: If you should think of me some day
***** And feel a soft touch on your pensive face—
*****A memory has kissed you in my place.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
A fantasy!! After reading this, my wife simply shook her head and called this sonnet the product of my sick mind, and then she sent me out to fix a doorknob that didn't need fixin'.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content


First let me be clear that I can't write a good sonnet to save my life lol. But as to form, I always though a sonnet was 3 quatrains with a 2 line ending. I enjoyed yours but think putting it into stanzas would make it easier on the reader

Old Will would have frowned on me setting up his style of sonnets in three quatrains; however, I have failed to off-set the couplet by 5 spaces because the forum does don let me do so. To overcome that, I usually add asterics ahead of the couplet lines, as I will do now. Thanks for liking the sonnet in general. My various editions of Shakespeare display all sonnets in block form, except for the couplets that are offset. Thank you, kind sir.

author comment

oh my such beauty in your writing . Never stop writing I look forward to your next poem did ya'll get that door knob fixed lol


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I'm so delighted to have found a lover of my sonnets in you. Thank you for your kind words of support, dear lady.
The door knob's wobble will have to wait a bit till I fix the wobble of my head. Flattery tends to do that do me, dear, but I appreciate it coming from you. Thank you.

author comment
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