Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Planting Hope
As I wake up
I need to refill
the morning glass of hope
to back me through
the long day's turmoil.
so I decided
to plant a rose
blooming with prayers.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
raj
Tue, 2018-05-22 06:40
good positive thought put in
good positive thought put in these short verse form.
just wondering if Seeding Hope would be a good title...i couldn't understand why you prefized your itle with # as too these $#t suffixing Line 3
......................................................................................
raj (sublime_ocean)
Rula
Wed, 2018-05-23 16:31
Just a thought
dear raj. Sometimes such thoughts urge you to scribble them down no matter how trivial they are. This one was just one of these and this is exactly how every word was heard in my head.
Always appreciate your dear thoughts.
Many thanks.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Please follow me on Instagram
https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
Rula
Wed, 2018-05-23 16:32
I replaced the $#t to turmoil
I replaced the $#t to turmoil. Hope it reads better now.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Please follow me on Instagram
https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
raj
Thu, 2018-05-24 05:46
Hi again Rula
Your poem is lovely and has a good soft feel.
I wish to point out that in the first stanza Line 1 and Line 4 are not in sync. I mean line 1 speaks about waking waking up whereas line 4 is about end of the day turmoil. In that context you may need to bring them in sync. Hope you know what I mean. I thought worthy of sharing this with you
......................................................................
raj (sublime_ocean)
Rula
Thu, 2018-05-24 09:14
Thank you
again raj!
I did some few edits. Any better?
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Please follow me on Instagram
https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
raj
Thu, 2018-05-24 14:08
Rula
Yes the revised version is spot on. A small tweak did the trick :)
Just curious..was this inspired by what you may have read in the Koran?
Warmly...
raj (sublime_ocean)
Rula
Thu, 2018-05-24 16:55
Raj
much appreciate the time and your continued priceless visits.
As for the last line perhaps, "blooming with prayers", as an idea is yes it is in the holy Qura'an as everything has its pray, man, plants and animals... etc. Hence came the idea.
Thank you dear friend.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Please follow me on Instagram
https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
gregwa8
Wed, 2018-05-23 13:37
I really like this. a playful
I really like this. a playful way to express the hardships of life and the peace of refilling.
Rula
Wed, 2018-05-23 16:35
Thank you greg
Very happy to know that you've found something in this one. Your visit means a lot
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Please follow me on Instagram
https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
lovedly
Thu, 2018-05-24 15:50
the morning glass of hope
good
keep it brimming
with all your desire and hope
and
by evening it doesn't all end up in smoke
just we all,as much as you do must also
HOPE
Great feelings for a new arising
Rula Ma'am
reading your poetry
is like viewing through
a kaleidoscope
all we HOPE
Rula
Thu, 2018-05-24 16:57
Thank you Loved
I really appreciate your passing by and the kind words.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Please follow me on Instagram
https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=