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A Lady Clad in Grey, That Was Her Name - Meet the Masters WS (Hardy)

I lie in listless sleep,
yet my mind soars,
and though I cannot weep
within I roar
with restless grief, that lief
existence brief
transcends this dreary dream
to drift about this broken world unseen.

Observe the trav'lling wind's
perpetual mourn,
grey clouds of joyless kind
by it are drawn
so that the sun conspires
against desire
to hide his healing flame
that I may dwell within his shade and shame.

I feel a pleasant rain
descend and kiss
away the chronic pain:
the world amiss
retires. A sudden song
breaks from among
the sum of all my dreams
which are perhaps less hopeless than they seem.

==Inspiration: The Darkling Thrush by Thomas Hardy==

I leant upon a coppice gate
When Frost was spectre-grey,
And Winter's dregs made desolate
The weakening eye of day.
The tangled bine-stems scored the sky
Like strings of broken lyres,
And all mankind that haunted nigh
Had sought their household fires.

The land's sharp features seemed to be
The Century's corpse outleant,
His crypt the cloudy canopy,
The wind his death-lament.
The ancient pulse of germ and birth
Was shrunken hard and dry,
And every spirit upon earth
Seemed fervourless as I.

At once a voice arose among
The bleak twigs overhead
In a full-hearted evensong
Of joy illimited;
An aged thrush, frail, gaunt, and small,
In blast-beruffled plume,
Had chosen thus to fling his soul
Upon the growing gloom.

So little cause for carolings
Of such ecstatic sound
Was written on terrestrial things
Afar or nigh around,
That I could think there trembled through
His happy good-night air
Some blessed Hope, whereof he knew
And I was unaware.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Inspired by the poem "The Darkling Thrush" and the Poetry Foundation's essay on Hardy's life and outlook Forgive me for the title. It came before the poem, was meant to be a part of the poem, but somehow failed to show up on time. Still it is important. I wish I wouldn't have to clarify, but the poem is about a dream about a lady clad in grey and how she makes the person sad yet somehow hopeful (perhaps) It brings to mind Emma, Hardy's wife who died and inspired so much good poetry from him.
Editing stage: 


"chaotic pain" my only word change I submitted upon reading
only to make it more startling..jive it up a notch!
Just lately was re introduced to the notion of
Wraiths...maybe halloween but no
socially I have a great dif between intellectual knowledge
and mere pop social culture
Wraiths are not valkries...nor the demure angels
positive not entirely and yet not dark nor black
tormentors...Not harpies..

we have muses..

general statement

personal statement
I have muses...damn right!
I have a lot....not imagined...most are real
happy that Hardy's wife inspired him
wives drive

both give verve to poets
to compose paint
Big on creation
over conjecturing
I like physical evidence
like forensic trails

Shall have to have a look at Darkling Thrush
it sounds a novel of a plan
(Brary time later)

always enjoyed your very gifted works
of technical craft on poetry here
finally forced to take time and put in
effort to put these from the Lost
far away bin and dust em off
and put on on the main line!

Thank U!
Mr Wolf!

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