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Some talk clueless
Ppl who communicate well
should communicate less
with this kind of mess
calling ppl scumbag is harsh
as their heart's in marsh
when justice for them has apparently fell
Editing stage:
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Comments
Esker
Wed, 2014-12-10 23:24
Holy S******
In a few short lines
this woke me up with a start
a jazz..a kick.. a swerve
and style.....
mmm
Is it Jazz....Blues....
I can see this
spraypainted in its
outlined punched out
clean cut machine
paint breath
scheme
in the olden
the mimeograph
in its violet bleeding
in the rains
like chaos beautiful
the rusted staple
and push pins
on the greying totem
wire poles
greybeards
and concrete
I greatly like this
as it is....
Its wild and raw
and yet very defined
Thank You!
Barbara Writes
Thu, 2014-12-11 01:04
Esker
Thanks for your fine critique.
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
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