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Be worthy of yourself
Your worth lies not in your pocket,
it lies in your inner self,
what you feel you are,
you want to be
don't run after what others think
no guy is going to weep for thee
you shall have to shed tears alone
so shed your fears
guys only suck sugar cane
Bums, chums and any suckable thing
that one at them can fling
your worth is what you think
use imagination and think,
write in charcoal
if you have no ink
in any case poets are never rich,
so just have the urge to share
but never with another soul
yourself compare
they only suck
so be aware!
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
alidzain
Wed, 2014-05-21 15:28
Loved
From the first to the last stanzas
i see wisdom and truth blossom
with whispers of advices
beautifully crafted in a poem
Thanks for sharing my friend
Alid
loved
Wed, 2014-05-21 16:20
you are the only wise one
who sees only wisdom
and I do read your compositions
wise enough to learn
and become wiser
with ur wisdom
loved
Geezer
Thu, 2014-05-22 07:57
I am pleased...
that you are attempting rhyme!
I will come back to this after I have the time to study it more.
I don't wish to make you into just another follow-along,
I really hope that you can find your own way to keep bringing
your unique perspective to us all.
~ Gee
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
loved
Thu, 2014-05-22 08:09
as I have often stated
I know no poetic nuances
as slated
I just compose
off the cuff
fair or rough
its for others to compare
your views then I share
and
can't to oppose dare...
loved
weirdelf
Thu, 2014-05-22 17:25
Oh dear Loved!
I beg you, plead on bended knees, please, please, please avoid the use of the second person (a poem addressed to "you") it almost invariably comes across preachy and whatever wisdom contained is lost by the pretensions to universality. I have taken huge liberties here, plus please ponder and compare the effect:
Worth
Worth lies not in the pocket,
it lies in ones inner self,
what we feel we are,
what we want to be
who cares what others think?
no guy is going to weep for us
we shall have to shed tears alone
fuck off our fears
guys only suck sugar cane
Bums, chums and any suckable thing
that one at them can fling
our worth is what we think
we write ourselves in charcoal
and all our minds have ink
in any case poets are never rich,
so let's just share
but never with another soul
Sive te alii vana sitis amarum *
they suck anyway.
so be aware!
~~~
*Latin, from the "Desiderata", © Max Ehrmann 1927
roughly translates as "If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter;"
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
alidzain
Thu, 2014-05-22 11:59
Jess
"Sive te alii vana sitis amarum"
what is the meaning of this verse?
Alid
weirdelf
Thu, 2014-05-22 12:24
latin, from "Desiderata"
roughly translates as "If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter;"
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
loved
Thu, 2014-05-22 13:50
very good poetry
"If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter;"
Please post it as yours
as all will cherish it
coming from loved
none may read
loved
weirdelf
Thu, 2014-05-22 14:04
no way!
It is your poem. I simply ask that you heed my advice about poetry in the second person in future.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
loved
Thu, 2014-05-22 14:55
cheers
now always do
loved
alidzain
Thu, 2014-05-22 13:46
I see
Thanks for the lesson.
Alid