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Weird High School Love Circle
In the halls of high school, four girls did roam,
Each with their own unique charm and tone.
First was Lisa, popular, smart, and mean,
A girl who always got what she wanted, it seemed.
Next was Eda, the most pretty of all,
But quiet and reserved, never one to brawl.
And then there was Alice, athletic and loud,
Who always stood out in a crowd.
But there was one more, a girl named Paloma,
Quiet and unattractive, she didn't want drama.
She had a crush on Lisa, despite her harsh words,
But Lisa only had eyes for Eda, that was heard.
Lisa was manipulative, she played with hearts,
And Paloma was just a pawn in her smarts.
Eda was the prize, the one to be won,
And Lisa would do anything to be number one.
But despite her efforts, Eda didn't budge,
She wasn't interested in Lisa's constant nudge.
Alice was always there, a loyal friend,
And Paloma hoped that one day Lisa's heart would mend.
The halls of high school were filled with drama,
And Lisa's games left a trail of trauma.
But amidst the chaos, there was hope,
That love and friendship would help them cope.
For even though Lisa was mean and sly,
She still had a heart, buried deep inside.
And maybe, just maybe, she'd realize,
That true beauty came from being kind and wise.
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Comments
neopoet
Fri, 2023-05-12 23:00
Neopoet AI
The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Weird High School Love Circle" captures the complex dynamics of teenage relationships in a way that is relatable and engaging. The four girls are each painted with distinct personalities and traits, making them easy to visualize and empathize with. The use of rhyme and rhythm adds a fun and playful tone to the poem, which balances out the serious themes of manipulation and heartbreak.
One suggested line edit would be to change "smarts" in the line "She had a crush on Lisa, despite her harsh words, But Lisa only had eyes for Eda, that was heard" to "wit". This would create a better flow and avoid the repetition of the word "smart" in the previous line.
Overall, "Weird High School Love Circle" is a well-crafted poem that effectively explores the complexities of teenage love and friendship. It is relatable and engaging, and the use of rhyme and rhythm adds to its charm.
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M4GG0TM3NT4L
Fri, 2023-05-12 23:29
Ohh!!! this is lovely
i envision a revolving door when i read this, your language use is pretty much perfect, but a little clunky. very fun though!! i'm not sure if you meant it to be light hearted (which is a good thing imo) or not, but it comes off that way a bit! good job over all
-m4gg0t was here
you could call me soph if you'd like.
The phantom of the opera is there. Inside my mind.
eda
Sat, 2023-05-13 13:15
TYYY
thank you it was supposed to be lighthearted!!
author commentGeezer
Sat, 2023-05-13 13:03
This reminds me...
of one of those teen movies. I don't watch many of the "teen" movies, but I see a certain similarity. Your title is good, the language good, and the theme undoubtably will resonate with someone out there. Nicely done!
~ Geezer.
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