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Watching
Body shattered
beyond repair
kicked, battered
bypassers stared
Good Samaritan
no longer exists
fear spreading
guardian’s a myth
Waiting to intervene
hesitatation
ruptured spleen
devastation
For myself, no respect
stood crying
cause and effect
my soul’s dying
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage:
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Comments
Nordic cloud
Thu, 2013-01-17 12:49
...now I'll defect. I want
...now I'll defect. I want one more line somehow seub.
A most unusual and interesting poem this.
Love Ann.
"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.
sueb
Thu, 2013-01-17 13:19
thanks Ann don't know how to
thanks Ann don't know how to add to it hope u enjoyed all the best sueb x
Frenchf
Thu, 2013-01-17 13:01
I hope this isnt physical violence to you
I do hope it is just poetic license
REASSURE ME PLEASE
IF SO LOVELY WRITE
sueb
Thu, 2013-01-17 13:21
im fine french f but it came
im fine french f but it came from seeing a teenager hit a child and we all stood around him hoping it would stop but noone intervened too afraid teenager was a traveller of about 6 foot and the child about 9 felt terrible afterwards i was in an abusive relationship when i was very young would never take that again as always thanks for your concern but again I write about anything not necessarily things happening the me hope your well have a great day all the best sue b x
sueb
Thu, 2013-01-17 15:59
thanks so much Lonnie glad u
thanks so much Lonnie glad u enjoyed cheers sueb x