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VOL DE NUIT : French/English

Submitted by Geremia on Fri, 2013-01-04 18:28

VOL DE NUIT [ title from from novel by St. Exupéry]

Je me sens les yeux
se fermer
lourds comme le plomb
crevés
creux
comme ceux d’un mort
qui sourient
ces yeux à moi.
e
Je me sens l’esprit
s’endormir
léger
timide
rendu
comme un oiseau
perdu
dans son vol de nuit
cet esprit à moi.

NIGHT FLIGHT
I feel my eyes begin
to close
heavy led
sunken
empty
like the smile of the dead
these tired eyes of mine

I feel my spirit begin
to sleep
light
frightened
like a bird lost
in night flight
this torn spirit
of mine.

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Geremia

Sat, 2013-01-05 02:46

Geremia's picture

it was meant to convey as you felt it.

joe

author comment

Ian.T

Sat, 2013-01-05 03:22

Ian.T's picture
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Good trip to shallow sleep as all do on aircraft trips, one very small thing the line that goes:- "heavy led" there is some sort of typo there..
Did you mean as Heavy as lead, or "heavy, leaden" the short word led seems wrong.. Take care young man, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Geremia

Sat, 2013-01-05 06:21

Geremia's picture

thanks, Ian ; and will fix error,

author comment

Bonitaj

Sat, 2013-01-05 10:23

Bonitaj's picture
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Technically the poem seems more than adequate, but the message is all too sad. I can feel the weightiness of the content so much that I want to "put it down"and walk away. It is as T.S.Eliot says-

"Human kind cannot bear very much reality"
I hope it processed some of the sadness for you, if so it served its' purpose.
Regards

Bonitaj

Geremia

Sat, 2013-01-05 12:02

Geremia's picture

Then I did my job--to create strong feeling. And what is true is powerful.

Be well and enjoy the moment.

author comment

Jenifer James

Sat, 2013-01-05 22:06

Jenifer James's picture
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I agree, you did just that.

Jenifer

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