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Upbeat (Primal poetry workshop)

The pulse of the rapids
Slapping down the mountain
Always the same
Never the same
The roar of water
Ice clear from the mountain tops
The crash of water on rock
In beats of upbeat
Upbeat
In commotion
Upbeat upbeat
Loud locomotion

Soundless sky and wind
Only the rhythm
Of the fast falling water
White from the foam
And reflected in the sun
Whose light
Spins like the fireflies
And echo of
Waves and waves and waves and waves
White echo
Upbeat
Sly slick strumming rock
Upbeat to the sky
Upbeat echo
Upbeat
That instant when I die.

Last few words: 
I guess having spent the last few days in the waterfalls of the Grand Teton Mountains in Wyoming the drumming sound felt like the pace of sound there...
Editing stage: 
Workshop: 

Comments

I don't know what will. I think your voice of pure origin is powerful here and I admire your freedom to do it.

Respectfully,

~ Marthalyn

And you managed to make it poetry as well, which is not expected.

I knew my faith in you was wrranted.

Thank you.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

You captured the raw images of your mind as well and how it appealed to the senses. The visuals were amazing.

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

Having listened to the drumbeat also, I can see how the waterfalls would have a drum pounding sound.
Waves and waves and white echo, beautiful. Mostly I loved the upbeat lines I hope to feel that upbeat
when I die. Hopefully a life well lived.

B9Pat

they all go very much noticed and appreciated

..

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

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