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TWO MILK;ONE SUGAR

a few sad coins
jingle in the palms
on a blistering hot
spring day
Its coffee I crave
in the depths of
winter fine
its coffee I crave
warming in the tummy
beneath an indifferent
beautiful sun
the caravan beauties
hawking their wares
taxation and inventory
the same old story
But I take my cup
and settle to my pew
to drink my meditative
sustenance and watch
the few
In my pockets of a
summer jacket
i carry all the things
I need for my racket
an old army green
battered and ragged
no doubt a sight
to the minds I
too see
Like John Lennon
I smile behind my
shades
and think
"Let it be!"

...

Editing stage: 

Comments

cool, casual, relaxed delivery
these newer ones of yours seem to have it

I like the 'atmosphere' ... refreshingly fresh

Al

lets see.....an art teacher told us too head to Cali!
and there was always movies and docs on San Freaking cisco!
all the cool cats hung out there..

Then in xmas 2010 the Kid...my steppie got an XBOX
and we sat taking turns playing the game...I had played
Playstation GTA three or four...and it was awesome
Florida one that game...

GTA V is an alternate universe...and it has driving...something
I hadnt done in ages.....and of course...that series is about
california and the coast...some desert...Sultan Sea humor
etc...gritty detailing and atmosphere...rain..fog..sunshine
beaches...bridges....its all here in this game...

and that brought the west coast too me....ever since then
I can relate a hell of a lot better..
I used too hit Toronto from early eighties one...catch a train
down and wander all about the entire day and come
home...or stay with a chum...the eighties!! toronto..
it was something then! record stores..styles...MUCH
was brand new!!

I did drive through Seattle before Grunge....late eighties
and it was something that city!! very beautiful and
rugged might be a word....might...

I am just starting to read bits of Bukowski! and yet
to read any burroughs..saving that for old age.
which is kind of here for me!!

I always felt bad for just living on the peripheral
and living it good...guess with the cars and jobs
and very nice places to hang at and with groovy
intelligent people has paid off...
but maybe in that existance is a kind of Nirvana
that exists that gives for great creative writing
and thoughts!

I am glad this write was easily translatable
much of my work is rather misty and blurry
you know even my look is more adapted
and relatable now...
the army jacket...purple dress shirt
and brand new fashion pants with the
holes...dress shoes that would look
at home in Brooklynn or New York
the rings..and shades...long hair
and goatee sideburns now....
yah its happening finally..

still keep thinking about cali
I watched that movie with
James Dean and Natalie wood
where he jumps off the train
that was a cool movie!!!
the Wild Ones and Easy
Rider....
others of that era...
seems so long ago..

and yet not!

keep on writing!!

thank U

author comment

I like the imagery and as brittle light said it has a lovely easy flow to it. Atmospheric and vividly painted. Jx

------------
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Don't forget to offer critique on poems you read.

water..wind often gives us the physics of form...basically its fluid dynamics...
writing..the majority of mine is pretty stripped...a design element to it
missing the pauses...notations...if it was music it would be pretty
tricky to read....in my writing its hard at first to find that flow
but there is one.....smooth I like....a design rounded....no thats not
it...some of the writing has pretty sharp...sharded edges
where the breaks are definite....

and no ..oh what the dots dashs spots to mark where too pause
skip hop and jump...
forget the technical word but I dont put all that in
mostly for time
mostly too allow each reader to find their pace
like driving in the rain or fog
which in itself is an experience either soothing
or..well something
and experience..a feeling..an emotion
more..More then just response

I am glad U like the imagery and noticed
the flow...atmosphere of course is everything
without it...
I tried to write without atmosphere
and couldnt do it
that would be my next jump
completely visual
but I kind of like atmosphere very
much so I doubt I will abandon
this...

tthank U !

author comment
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