Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

TRIP OF LIBERTY

Salmon pink chewed gum stuck to pvc floors
stuck to timeworn seats and graphite sprayed,
sprayed by an undeveloped child. But unlike

that pallid gum he was free. And just like that
spritz it will be washed away a new memory
a freedom moving forward and not backwards.

The water vapour and finger print hazey windows
and an odour of diesel a hiss of a deadly rattle snake
and a screech caused by slipping wheels is a sound of
travel and wonder

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
Opt-in: Neopoet AI will critique your poem.

Comments

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

It is not feasible to offer feedback.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Was so vivid,
It had me giggling.

You have such a talent with descriptions

Koki

It Meens alot !

author comment

i love your imagery this is wonderful

<3

I appreciate your comment

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.