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Thoughts On A Cold And Sullen Eve

Let us raise a little glass
and blow on little trumpets.
Let us toast, dear friend of mine
while the minutes march ahead.

Time is swift and time is soothing,
but memory disturbs the dream of living.
Dark the shadows, long the raincoats,
the pitter-patter of the raindrops
oft reminds and often hinders
one from going about their daily duties.

Still let us raise a little glass
and blow on little trumpets.
Fairies make me glad by day
and singing elves by night.

Her smile and call like Luthien's are,
and I, like Beren, eagerly follow.
Desperate for attention
and a warm and guiltless shoulder
while trying to keep the Darcy facade.

While trying to keep the cold outside
and killing the fire inside.
Two decades and three
and many more to come;
Of heartbreak, hope and hubris.

But let us rise and call for order.
Let us lift the little cups.
Drink, my dear friends, drink on me,
and do not waste one drop of wine.

Times are hard, though days be hopeful,
hard to come by, joy has proven.
Drink like there is no tomorrow.
It may turn out to be true.

So walked out Bill and dear old George
into the falling rain.
I sat and watched the glass doors swing,
and sighed as taxis hurried by.

I told myself, it will be fine
in this dear life of mine.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Last few words: 
I write this poem to celebrate my birthday.
Editing stage: 

Comments

Love the literary references, Tolkien and Austin, quite a combination. And at times you achieve Tolkien's cadence:
Times are hard, though days be hopeful,
hard to come by, joy has proven.
Drink like there is no tomorrow.

I wonder if it would be worth the time to you trying to achieve that cadence throughout? Not necessary, the poem works fine as it is.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

I've read through the poem again. Achieving cadence throughout should make it more beautiful. As this is a very personal poem, I'll often reference the literary characters that have most shaped me.

No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot

http://www.wsgeorge.com/

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