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TALC
shrouded this sensitive awakening
falling
like a memory
new approachs glide
like a fresh shirt
empty pocket of meaning
im not left the dream yet
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north ontario
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Comments
Esker
Sun, 2011-01-23 08:30
left it in on purpose
I am
I am still in the dream
not left
exited the dream
knew someone would correct me
all the typos are meaningful
one thought moving and
transforming into another
I am I have halve valve of occupancy
flowing like a dream
the left of am
the right of I
to leave a typo
such a
odd
poet esker
Thank You Seren
author commentEsker
Sun, 2011-01-23 08:38
this
was always a punishment word
so many words words were used to
inflict shame
hurt
worthless feelings
any happiness was brought down by
words maybe I never escaped
and in the end became like
them although they are gone now
I loved poetry so at least it looks
like I can assemble something of
beauty
my words of tearing down
were building
all the negate and positive effort
this
as I go further into this mess
Ive lived created and am leaving
I just remember these things
all inside
and its just a word
thank you Seren
author commentEsker
Sun, 2011-01-23 21:25
purge atory
yes it is expressionism
poetry
ive been writing poetry for years
on another site for many
and Neo for ever
positive and negative give the most
shadow affect
and I love that effect
thats why I take a lot of pics in black and white
after all its the light
that magic that evokes such
lyrical and deep considerations
in the works
Thank You Seren
author commentweirdelf
Sun, 2011-01-23 11:40
You may have left it on purpose,
but honestly, my friend, even with the explanation it doesn't mean what you say it does. It's just bad English.
Great to see you again Steven, look forward to more that are up to your standard.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Esker
Sun, 2011-01-23 21:28
within in conceptual contextual
yes it should read
"I'm within the dream, yet."
even so far as writing out
"I am within the dream, remaining.."
or
"I am with the dream, still"
something like this
Thank You Weirdelf
author commentOrphani
Sun, 2011-01-23 22:29
The issue of grammatical
The issue of grammatical correctness is often debated. I have become more wary of the implications of whose correctness. The writer is due full control of their work. So the question becomes one of intent. The artist may not want the traditional grammatical rules to apply, and may use such a discrepancy to make a deeper point. Though the artist should be aware of the reader as an outsider in need of the slightest prompt, as to the direction of the view offered. The ideal writer writes because they must; but they also write to have their thoughts shared,and become this immortal expression of life. The sublime beauty of a moment in time.
Should the poem be in the possession of the poet; or the poet in possession of the poem. Most likely it is both. If the line in question were raised by a publisher the poet could weigh in on the discussion. That the artist leaves the grammatical error in place allows the reader to conclude it is part of the poems meaning and draw your own conclusions.
B
Esker
Sun, 2011-01-23 22:28
Poetic Means
correct Barry I was taught by old school marms and mens
and all the books I read were printed to last forever and the
script and punctuation were intact I did read Milton and
in those days I believe the print was handset No spell check
I saw this before I hit the key and thought I should change
this as I do often But I wanted to let this out
Like a three legged cat to see what draws
sometimes it has more power then the actual poem
what caught me was the shift in thinking
I was getting feedback that people were trying to figure
some of the works out and I write them like fast
and they were random I was in my head shifting thoughts
fast too though I was thinking "I am still in the dream"
and then ending the thought with "No, no Im Not in the dream"
"Im not still in it" all this while my mind is on at least three
and a half other things while writing
and listening to tunes
I still like it I use descriptors and end lines that should have
another word but sometimes the word itself just conjures
something I like your description about publishing
makes me want to publish now
I have a freind who copied a vast amount of my writings
to word docs maybe I should Emasse them
for essesment
author commentOrphani
Sun, 2011-01-23 22:41
Without a doubt. Ah, won't
Without a doubt. Ah, won't the disguised ugly head of ego dance with you as a coxing lover? Somtimes you knit booties to keep you warm; and sometimes you write the deeper fabric of the world-can you discern this? In this is the answer to our nothingness.
B
Nordic cloud
Sun, 2011-01-30 13:46
But Steven I AM left dreaming
But Steven I AM left dreaming,
dreaming of the falling of............delicately down
emptied pocket torn
memories imprinted, approach.
Almost a Haiku-like poem this.
Love Ann.
"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.