My mom cried each night for the boys...the babys and mothers..
technicolor...they were convinced it was just going to escalate
that canada would be called to the draft too....a normal assumption.
I decreed at eleven years old then that I would fight for the flag
and country even if it was a gesture of hoplessness...Little did
I know that I had such bad asthma then that they would have
refused me on medical!...Still we got raised by ideals and principles
In a way I like that that war challenged people on something more
then just True Grit which many showed In Country. I had time to
kill as a kid..teen..young adult and I read like three books at a time
like people watch television or open three windows on the net..
I wanted to understand my mother....My woman role model...and
Ive done so with every woman since who has been like my mother
Finding the acceptance and the known feeling of rejection the
feeling that keeps hope...Lately its all falling into place as I age
and they! the no mans land where we make our peace!

Vietnam was a horror that none could escape..not the madness
of those directly in its arms...or those on the home land watching
it unfold in the grisly color....Was is a nasty business...But it is
War!
It just is...its just was!
Today I thank all veterans who served! it takes guts talent and
brains....not only to be good at the job....because the opposing
side is going to be just as good....And for plain surviving..
Luck as is noted in my Fictional creation..

this is how I put those ghosts to rest myself....I am grateful my
parents made us watch the television....Grateful we met americans
coming home to shelter live with their american brothers and
sisters from the conflict! A black man still in his tiger stripes
and combat boots fresh off the bird! My father instructed us
to be quiet...peaceful...respectful but to also be ourselves!..
He sat with a form er mortar gunner who fought his way up
Italys boot after the sicily landings and survived all the way to
Rome....Tom said he could drop a mortar down the chimney
a quarter mile away if he had a mortar gun and I believed
Him! he was an excellent handyman! He married a former
troop nurse who suffered more from the trauma then he!
But then we men sat in the falling afternoon light...all of
us having a beer....(then we had half a glass...the indoctrine
of Becoming the men of the family)
Kenny was a happy enough man..his big brother an ex trooper
from an eastern south state owned much property! Before
long he was involved in projects of the land...settling in..
Rays kids and wife took him in well....We worked on a few
projects with the family...not all are haunted horrible by the
conflict of self or man against man...but it happens...

My brother in law was from Kentucky....fled the draft...brilliant
man....Carter absolved them years later...or Ford...
I remember the homemade bunker in his new basement
with my sister...We kids played in it....we thought it was pretty
cool....I am never sure if my brother in law served too or not...
but his brother did....He let me have his Da Nang service
jungle jacket when we visited out west! He said he was a
payroll seargent....but one can have many titles before
accepting the persona fronted..each man woman makes
his her peace....I wore it with pride....
It helped me ease my fears and ghosts
I often dreamed of being There..
where we lived...a cottage in old growth boreal...meadows
swamps..hills...was so similar to the scenes we had
new roads...was like an LZ and military helicopters
flying between ontario bases flew over...
so I got to hear what the Hueys sounded like...
and we were trained to handle weapons as young
men..groomed to be hunters..but my mothers fears
never let us away from the apron strings...

Carl was a PBY captian...all brilliant men...he hit
a mine...they put a plate in his head....he arrived
twenty seven eight years old with long hair beard
and a plate in his head....violence plauqed him.
the heard trauma alone....He was an excellent
furniture maker...wealthy parents south...
canada was the only peacable place for many
Including the ex german military...nazis included
u boat commandars.I knew two...

One of our neighbours got the draft for world war two
and was an objector....so they offered him a role as
stretcher carrier.....He hit D-day and survived too..
They shot everyone then....so he helped save just
as many without a gun in his hand then the rest that
did.....thinking back...seeing how I would never been
anything.rejected....but had I been in good health..
I could have been a fitter..cook....corpsman...
wasnt bright enough to be radioman..gunner..
wasnt just the Mattel Rifle....a great accurate but
problem plagued weapon....
I talk with many today....cant say what branches
cause many of them have legit civvie jobs..did
their service which I thank them for....but they
were brightlllll Intelligence...radar...helos..
fitting f-16's in little countries in the desert..

The conflict impacted me so much I transferred
my interest to my daughter who is only 24!
music of that time...which was profound and
striking and helped many survive continues
Jim Morrison was bright and could have worked
for the CIA or FBI....he blew his draft..
so the story goes...and went on to inspire
generations beyond as an artist...
I dont blame him...

I knew modern people working for the underground
who flew old refitted Hueys...aircraft for people
like Air America....
etc.....the world is more grey then most want to
even look twice at..Like the old saying goes..
Drive on Driver it dont need no mind!

knew Hungarian freedom fighters......
Ambulance drivers..spent time with firefighter
captians as they laid their load on me
and I helped them with it.....
scrape away my hardshell exterior and
beneath is an empathic seer...
I was told I could be a hostage negotiator
and I believe it....
I was the middle man in our family
brilliant people....in troubled times...
still....and Im still in communicado
with them all..

Prowess.....thank U Al...

Im not a destroyer of systems
but work to be of help..assistance
I like the geometry of your writing
there is nothing to be wrong
with that polish..its an asset
and I look up to your writing
for it!!

Anyone that can sling it off the hip
that took me years to do that...
make decisions....Be a Umm
Captian of sorts....takes a
certian breed of man or woman
for that!

For all that served
thank U..
for those that opposed
and awoke the conscience
of society that something
might have been greatly
amiss...thank U too!

I was but a lad then..
grade seven when Apolcaypse
Now was being made!
many went to military from my
time as a teen...Sub Nuke captians
head thinkers for gov branches
I know.....
of..

business I Love...

my writing was from every writer
I loved.....I read so much
Book smart....yes...I admit it..
they say I am lucky to have not
lived the street...But I got enough
just enough cred and did that
part to get the recognition...
But my hats off to those that
truly lived it!

this is my ode that helps appease
my own moral social feelings
rather then just shove it away

this is a long comment letter
but worthy of its write!
its easy to condemn then feel
Im not a door slammer..
not me...

Im a survivor of my own time
of myself and others...

Thank U Al!

thank U very much!

Mr Wolf!

Born with a bubble of spine fluid...Grandmother protected him!
did forty one years on the railroad...A hardy man!
Uncles went..most came home...His best friend went through all
that only to be killed four days on return on a head on collision
in the fog not far from his home!
He often felt the same....his notable memories were standing
about naked in the inspection of the medical aspect!!!
I feel that his non service and stay at home railroader helping
keep the country moving was helpful enough...And we had
many of the uncles who went! All his moms bros went to the
Big one and returned...a rarity!!

I am only now getting into the surf music...the blues music..
the hard rock....so a lot of it is brand new to me...I was much
too anxious to readily mix then although I attended a few
parties and dated after high school....I can say today I am
cool...but its wrong to think I was always this way!
I dug into books..movies..late night radio when the sun was
not bothering my eyes...More peaceful...less distractions
Rolling Stones I am liking....Led Zepplin....Floyd..
although I was as a teen into Ian Anderson..and Leonard Skynard
of all people...Good bands!!
Liked heart! Jefferson Airplane....our local radio station
played fifties music like Our city here plays only eighties mostly..
time warp!! ha ha....

I was interesting without much character before..
But all the human exposure has drawn me out more into
a more candid manner then before..
I am happy U find that I have talent
I wanted so badly to become a poet more then
an artist...
and feel that I have done as much as I can
although of course with much more technical
polish and work I would be even better...

Your Talent and Candor shines in your work
I like the grittiness...at times...
that edge you dont smoothen
its genuine emotion
feeling...

I have a hard time with some of that
stuff.....been so many faces personas
through the years that although others
see me clearly I myself find it muddled
sometimes...

I worked for masonary companies..we
were in basements on hilltops
scaffold and sub forms....
hot sun...dust...machinery....trucks
not hard to imagine jungle either
with all the trees....the rivers lakes
trenches we worked in...planking
it fit in with all the books I was reading
about the conflicts...and mud...
boot sucking clay at the water treatment
plant in fall...half finished structures with
missing walls like the World War One..
Didnt help that I had a world war one
canteen and a knock off military vest
that I swear was fashioned off a flak
vest..I drew a cross and artwork on
the back and carried a short wave
radio in the car I plugged in for
music! they thought I was mad but
liked me!! being the youngest
then...

Our parents do the best for us...
and as long as it looks good on
paper....do we need to be where
we may need not? I think not!

As a living poet....Ur importance
to Neo is most important!
not to say the vets here are not
as important...For they are!

I dont bash vets anymore then those
too fearful to stand for their country
when duty calls....as opposing to the
war my parents we equally disliking
of the people who opposed it...
They hated hippies with a passion
But they were both hard working
to the core!! an odd juxtoposition

blah blah.....

Enjoy talking to you man!
your a cool old cat...and me Im
fifty four this year...
takes guts all to heft a gun
basic..specialist training and
to stand up and get bashed
charged for protesting...
we all have our roads
then and now!!

what doesnt make us stronger!!

Thank U! Al

Mr Wolf!