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SPARKS AND CHAINS
oh livid red
the relief fled
beneath the gown
of summer cold
a symphony of
droplets
shivers from your boughs
the sheen atop
these crowns
I've stood here
too browse
the distant gleam
your islands flat
heed against horizon
edge
a troubled sky lingers
tonight
no moon
this sweet ache
sewn between the
breaks
sparking like a chain
thrown open on the
road
a serpent spitting
fire
like a wire
breathing fire
cocoon of history
beneath its frond
a savage distance
a coldness wronged
darkness on her
grey wings
envelopes
and a storm
wind descends
with more deluge
respite
in a peaceful
ward
has settled
the fire
but not the
surge
of the links
of a desire
...
Editing stage:
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Comments
Seren
Sat, 2016-07-02 13:23
Brilliant ... absolutely
Brilliant ... absolutely brilliant ..
Love this one Steven
Love Jayne xxx
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
Esker
Sat, 2016-07-02 14:24
it had a different feel to it
used to love climbing a knoll to look out...
been awhile....but we have good views of
the lake..and the urban forest and a side
of the escarpment allows for a feel of
the woods...or bush.....
and usually on reflection the old passions
once quelled by the noise of the ordinary
din finds its singe still on the interior
warm and alive..
Thank U Jayne!
Geezer
Sat, 2016-07-02 19:52
Loved the...
sense of continuity with the uneven rhyme. It gave the whole poem a feel of a disjointed murmur, a talking to one's self. I think that anyone who does not talk to themselves, is missing out on some good conversation! LOL. Nice work, my friend! ~ Gee
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Esker
Sat, 2016-07-02 23:11
river of lull
raised with care too articulate well
slow spaced, a documentary radio
late nite voice. It puts people at
ease, calming. An effort to find
the octaves in a middle distance
of the center.
a present mood.
eleanor prince
Sat, 2016-07-02 21:16
quick response
love this:
this sweet ache
sewn between the
breaks
have to fly... hope to post more later...
Esker
Sat, 2016-07-02 23:13
my most favorite thing
everything I own is sewn like my life
from the rends of honest disrepair
Loved..mended...tailored
and broken...
a gunshot essence
neither despaired or outrage
like a howl
while tending a fire kept
..
eleanor prince
Sun, 2016-07-03 06:02
To Esker
beautifully said... very poetic in itself!
Esker
Sun, 2016-07-03 14:29
I am happy poettry as an instrument works
like buskers playing on the street
or talking performers
the random free is the best
spontaneous
no price
no strings
so ancient
a way of delivery!
thank U poets and Neopote!
eleanor prince
Mon, 2016-07-04 19:09
To Esker
feel an echo inside me that concurs strongly with what you say here... yes, poetry is all these things and I will loosen up a bit with how I write perhaps as I do tend to drift towards some structure for form yet the freedom needs to be there too... so we have a symphony of freedom yet well-directed fire! :)
Esker
Mon, 2016-07-04 22:39
yes....lobbing shells in the jungle
words and poems blossom
near the aimed center
of its thrown trajectory
but U are right
structure IS keen on
the moment of its
sending
ha!
that right moment
that right care
oh sweet diplomacy
poetrys new meaning!
lovedly
Sun, 2016-07-03 14:07
you alone in my humble opinion... in Neo are the only one
'''unassailable..'''
ask anyone
esker
you rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
really
the one and only
unassailable
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