I'll comment and give hindsight to the poems....

I knew a lot of people...very charismatic people
very intelligent people
who had men or women throwing themselves
at them....I heard that hitler the psycho that
he was had females throw themselves under
the motorcade....
an evil evil man
like stalin
and now they have tour buses
for the entertainers
padded accounts
Roman times I say

and even Jesus acknowledged
saying "Pay ceasar what ceasar
is due" a true diplomat
why I believe in his father...

I should be much more then I am
I ended up helping many women
at the end of their dead end
street with no family help..in
the middle of leaving very nasty
but powerful leader men..
I helped them..
now why!

I needed that harsh re affirmation
from women who would be able
to equate too my mother...
she grew up dragged from a
nice ..no beautiful duplex from
the city..due too her fathers
gambling debt..a large one
they had too leave
come north to the playground
of other powerful peoples
summer refuge and refute.
post prohibition and emergence
of world war two.

my parents were survivalists

so zip forth to modern times
sixties..seventies..eighties
when I was a teen
drivers liscene...use of the
family sedan
a damn good family name
behind me
meant nothing
my finishing school
were the people
even harsher then I
that ground me through
the ropes
and I walked crawled
every hard mile
and promoted them
gave them the watch
of their six till they
got what they needed..

are they happy
well...they have health
issues.....the old
family issues
No they are not happy

any more then I?

U know what...
they shared their lives
their space..their
families....and I dug
in with them...helped
the whole kit and kaboodle

took a whole pile of shit
on my shoulders and carried it
the whole thing..not just
pick and choose
why?

because no one else would

and I busted my ass in real time
real world.
worked very hard demanding
phyisical jobs and still put in
time too talk...debrief
a lot of very important people
in bars when I had ten years
sober..
I was out there..why I live
simple and got the respect
for all that work
and including the latest
years of grooming the
new up and coming
who want too listen..
shave corners...it was done
by me for me by very
influential people

I hate whiners who know
better.....give em a shovel
and dig a garden..dig
a grave..
show em the horror that
exists today even out
there...and a mop to
help out the aftermaths

just help
all I was asked too do
and I did
I didnt walk away
and build an empire
based on ego
or personal ambitions

boredom...
hell man I put a lot
too work

I truly do have connections
and understand systems

I would not change any
of my life...

I write of this seemingly
trite
but I let free will chose
and still back it

its a hobby
and somehow
it saves me

...