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SCINTILLAZHUNS

Submitted by Esker on Wed, 2016-08-10 01:48

VINTAGE
Chanel
witch boots
and Hollywood Glam puss shades
whats coming down the little paved
lane?
we crane our dirty necks too see
the vehicle
something sporty
"Wheres the beau?"
She turns shoving the glasses
atop her short cropped hair
turns and keeps walking
"Aint got none this month
thats my dads old car!"
(Chanel ..Coco I bet U a beer!")
I elbow my brother..he smiles
and walks up to hug her
Lifting her off her feet
She smiles at me
and I drop my gaze smiling
A wrench in my hand
I stuff it in my back pocket
and let her walk up too
me...
"Hey bros.".says Tony..".I owe
U a beer!"
She and I stare at each
other....you can feel the
static between us
She breaks first
first time..
"Working on the old beast
still!" she walks up and
thumps her hand on the
fender and leans against
the long nose of the wagon
"U know she says!"
"Every Christmas I remember
dragging that huge assed
Chrismas tree here...U made
me cut it down and then U almost
cut your finger off when I handed
you the chainsaw!"
I hold up a greasy paw...
"Four stitches!"
I stare hard at her trying too get
a reading...its always been a
contest..she never drops her
gaurd like she does with everyone
Especially Tony...and he keeps
Mum
He redirects sensing us..
always saving the day
"Just put on a brand new Holley
carb..shipped it in from Calgary..
last of the big jets!"
she holds her hair too one side
examining the loose lightweight
aluminum..we are putting in
fresh gaskets...ready too flare
the lines..
"Hey!" says Tony..
"We all ready for those beers?"
"Bring us two thanks Tony! Ur
a sweetheart"
he smiles...raises his eyebrows
to me and heads through the
garage to the mudroom...
Back to our stand off..
this time she walks right up
too me and puts her head
on my chest and arms
around me and squeezes
me hard....I can feel her
little heart beating fast
her warmth...smell the
rich intoxicating flavor
of her perfume and hair..
"Ive missed U so much!"
I can hear the tears in
her voice and I stiffen
up but shes got me...
shuffles her feet and
holds on..I sigh and
relax leaning my head
atop hers...pull her
closer with my free
clean hand..

the screen door
slams shut and
Tony emerges in
the light..Two
Budwiesers in
his hands..

we all stand there
in the hot Summer
sun
Just like we did
at the funeral

....

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

vandiemenspeak

Thu, 2016-08-11 09:14

vandiemenspeak's picture
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I feel I've just read a history, I felt the initial arousal, the sense of her approach, then the deeper guarded memories, the hidden histories, the little human touches "I held up my paw" (I too have had relations with a chainsaw) - then this little gem, worthy of Dylan:

He redirects sensing us..
always saving the day
"Just put on a brand new Holley
carb..shipped it in from Calgary.

Beautiful, musical! Fells like one of his narrative songs, then the close, which reveals the relationship that's in the shared loss - and loved this, clever:

..I sigh and
relax leaning my head
atop hers...pull her
closer with my free
clean hand..

so much buried in those three words: "my free clean hand" - not sure if that was an intentional counterpoint to the sense of "feeling dirty" but if it was - worked.

I do love these poetic tumbling adventures, that read like the humble human honesty of many of the beats - which I hope isn't out of place, I think I'm right,it's kind of what you do as a linear successor to them, a modern beat!
Very much enjoyed.

Take care.

Chris.

Chris Hall - Tasmania

Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.

Esker

Fri, 2016-08-12 14:22

Esker's picture

met many many many people..
interesting and varied..chance career
people and those wrung from the soil
gleaned too the top by ambition fate
and chance..

always like feedback on this site...

the lyric of words is great
we were taught to master it long
ago...to be an affective and effective
speaker......

sharing stories and intel it was and
is a handy tool for this work
exchange...interchange..

the one most interesting thing U picked
up on was the "clean hand"
at the time of writing It was meant to
just implicate that they were working
on the car....but left or right handed
everyone gets both their hands affected
unless they have no formal use of the
limb or missing impaired...

the idea of clean..to not clean hand
is an interesting note
one that I like
because its an ideology and myth
concept
and human

open concept....was she dirty
and not in the politics of sex
but of lifes perspectives
and what is thought as of clean
anyway

now my mind will be rolling
on this....no computer acess
for awhile.....a few days
but I will think of my concepts
of right wrong and just
unjust etc etc..

half the time I do not even think
about this kind of thing .just
intuitively roll with this...

the Not being able too read
her...and the contest forever
is still true
she greatly enjoys that I am
smitten with the small
details to fthis kind of
delving

symbology plays great
in the interchanges
the more clever the
more challenging

thank U!

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