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It happened suddenly on that day anew
When the tree feller slipped on the morning dew
With his arms aloft and the chainsaw revving
He butchered a young trainee named Kevin
The trainee made a grimace
As the chainsaw cleaved his face
He looked helpless standing there
With his eyeball flying through the air
And then in the car park a passer-by
Happened to slip upon the eye
Into the boss's mean machine
His head went straight through the windscreen
The shock made the boss unsettled
He pressed down on the gas pedal
The severed head, oh how it bled
He crashed the car into the gardener's shed
The gardener's furnace, burning bright
Soon set everything alight
In just one minute the gaskets were blown
Scattering body parts and bone
A policeman suspecting foul play
Was blinded by blood and lost his way
You could hear the siren roar
As he drove into a circular saw
Car and saw lay side by side
The sparks ignited some insecticide
The workers ran but all in vain
And another blaze began again!
The stranded people had Napalm burns
Some were done to a turn
In two seconds their fates were sealed
It looked like The Killing Fields!
The fire crew called it a fait accompli
Apart from a cat found up a tree
And even though the Fire Brigade
Seem a bit lazy, this is why they're paid!
copyright Phil Atherton 2009

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Perpetual-motion disaster song/poem.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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It is not feasible to offer feedback on this poem.

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When the AI says, It is not feasible to offer feedback on this poem, what he is actually saying is, he doesn't understand satire, parody and lacks humour.
I thought this was great, it reads well, made me laugh, the shock factor is fantastic. Ruby :)

Give and grow - let's raise our verses together. I'm happy to comment on your work and appreciate a comment on mine.

Thanks Rube. This is almost the last of my broadcastable material, just putting this gear up first.

author comment

I loved this, it made me think of that wonderful 'Mad' Magazine cartoonist Don Martin. I saw it as he would have drawn it. There is a wonderful site and facebook page that shows a lot of his work. Alex

I'll look that up, thanks! I have a basic ragtime tune for this, it goes down well on Open Mic nights locally.

author comment

I see the resemblance to the old Mad Magazine. Kind of a Rube Goldberg chain of events. Funny stuff, Killer loved it.
~ Geezer.

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