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s t y p t i c

Submitted by Esker on Fri, 2012-08-17 22:52

powder burns
the star pole turns

and winds urge loose the staples
we have buried all the alms
and urns beneath the rouge
red haze of maples

Starry aged your hiss of cause
spreads in its river red
I'd fallen through the "I" of eyes
to wander worlds within your head
prose patent scenes upon a bed
dead worlds where the dust star
fled

Kisses tarry balm of leave
the rain is jumping from the eaves
the print of haste upon your sleeve

and how our love doth yearn
to be a moth from the capillary
worm

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

weirdelf

Wed, 2012-08-22 12:23

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and adds noting to poetry. Poetry gives to others. Cnosider this.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Esker

Sat, 2012-08-18 10:22

Esker's picture

Or an attempt perhaps of a question
I have recieved many "Personal" direct
comments from you as such
You are not front enough to say you greatly
like or dislike the work

I find it blatantly personal between us as
you have the love hate thing going with
me as a poet

and i shall always write in various mannerisms
that I do Weirdelf
today I take your bait

"Others" sometimes find something in these works
"You" cant find it today

maybe tommorrow
I have hope for you

Personaly Yours

:)

author comment

weirdelf

Sat, 2012-08-18 10:35

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I should never comment on Neopoet when that happens. I don't expect forgiveness, just please try to ignore it.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Esker

Mon, 2012-09-03 20:55

Esker's picture

Your frontal lobiness was a mere spat
Create a poem upon which you've wiped your poetic ass with
let the wasps hum feel the sting and let the pain that burn
flash or ooze from your mind to the page

its not a magical act or Fakery

If as you suggested one time that you would want to create poems
and hand them of works... Take this one and create art with offal
then... The old poets bent works pounded out verbally their words
nothing was certian....

there was just as many writing then too that were productive but
did not match the connection of that brilliant flash or rawness
like some did...

monkeys pounding poetry is an elite thing but a work in progress
say fuck and shit and describe that

ive done both

you have great verocity of spirit
poetry is frustrating work

author comment

Esker

Sat, 2012-08-18 10:43

Esker's picture

I was wondering
If it hits you this strong
I understand

poetry eh?
lets keep writing

take care!

author comment

Ian.T

Sun, 2012-08-19 10:37

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Well Jess was not good when he commented but ask him later as I think that one of your Stanzas needs a change and it also changes the flow.

Kisses tarry balm of leave.....
Kisses tarry balm of leaf ?????
I just can't get past this line, the rest of this piece is up there with your usual style and beauty...

the rain is jumping from the eaves
the print of haste upon your sleeve

Many great thoughts to you, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Esker

Sun, 2012-08-19 14:25

Esker's picture

tarry the slowness not wanting
undecided

and balm like too sooth the heart
in pain or grief or upset

kiss of leaving
saying goodbye the great parting
heaviness of heart

all of this I could include in my writing
but I dont

clothes the outfit the uniform was so
important in our family
started there and worked back to
principle and ideas and articulation

we could have just been a track pants
and t shirt peoples but we were not
dad mom were working class but
they respected the suits the management
the Bosses
they did not cuss them down
but bring them in as family associates
for whiskey friday afternoon
I remember Steve's big black Chrysler
his fedora his vests it was an honor
for the visit

Death was close back then
accidents less concern for safety
more people around
and more superstitions

maybe a smudge on a collar
I remember from the undertaker
or a stain on the shirt
Were they in a hurry when they
dressed for some appointment?
their favourite good shirt?

saying goodbye Im not good at at
all

author comment

Geezer

Sun, 2012-08-19 11:07

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that combined with the meter and ryhme scheme, the thoughts were interesting enough to to keep me reading this one.Sometimes when I find the meter or rhyme off-kilter [for me anyways],that it provokes more thought about exactly why you did what you did. Which causes me to read and re-read until I think I have it. ~ Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Ian.T

Sun, 2012-08-19 18:38

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Once again I took the words that rang another tune
It is clear now and your way of saying is understood..
I retract my fret at words not thought of by aged me
Take care our young Wolf that your Spirit is hidden
Hidden deep inside the trails you run in search of food
Food of thought to cascade into your mind to write.
I shall learn your script and dwell in the perfection of the Wolf's thought, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Esker

Sun, 2012-08-19 20:01

Esker's picture

Ive met five and more others who have a greater capacity for words
forwards and backwards
my few ones are gems though

as I say these people can write poetry but its not their great
passion which is okay
one does and she writes great poetry
(My Bunni) for another site

An ex (Carolee) also writes dispatchs still

Poetry is an odd beast
but one that I find myself feeding
and grooming
shovelling the offal

never forgotten in its cage
but sharing my space on my bike
my travels

Fret not Ian
words are just tools
for us to us

there is no one set way here
not a dictatorship nor socialist
program of template verse

thank you

author comment

Ian.T

Tue, 2012-09-04 11:34

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I wrote this to you, and have decided to put it as a poem on stream.
It may be read there by More but that is vague, I shall await your reply.

To talk in poetic ways.
To walk as we do with fellow poets.
A strange way
Where equals are so different.

Spreading strings of thoughts in words.
Capturing those strings to paper or screen
Where is it going I ask??
That we should pursue many ideas.

A coldness that would freeze Ice
A warmth that would melt the rocks
Yet both held at bay.
Touching the mind.

To sing stories of old not heard
To send prayers from many tongues
Worlds collide,
Then pursue again their own path.

I wonder at the forms I see
How can I judge
That I understand and stand to watch
This in its own self means that I seek.

I seek to understand the thoughts
I also seek to see the poet
This is the hardest of all tasks
Now I need to have eyes of grace

To meet the poet
See them as they really are
Read their words and ask of myself
Can I see as they do

Then I must stand with you

Yours at the table drinking a coffee, Ian.T

Your turn to pay lol.....

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Esker

Tue, 2012-09-04 12:01

Esker's picture

I met many..the business of getting along is pertinent today
tired kickers and soap box lecterns of now
can be the ruling force by action..
Vienna there was a man drinking coffee also
once..

The person today I chat with
if I was to judge everyone and pass comment on all
things negative or positive like the sky and the earth
the volume of charge would jump or leap
the passion to balance itself

like society tired of the ceaseless opression of
poor leadership
or the multiutdes of poor who far outweigh the
wealth of the few shall gain their foothold once
the stop the inordinate amount of time bickering

the tower of Babel

and gather their strength in a common denominator
of change..

And I would buy you a coffee Ian
you are there coaxing and advising
you just do not sit with irrational leads

the heads of any movement
must have the vision

but then you have been groomed
as have I

I like double expresso's and Cohiba's
and Oldsmobiles

Thank You

author comment

Ian.T

Tue, 2012-09-04 12:07

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Just enjoy and know that we walk with you there,,
Make mine a Kenyan with two sugars, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Esker

Tue, 2012-09-04 12:12

Esker's picture

the torrid heat and rains
sipped by the gracious bean

there is nothing better then a fine cup of coffee

in my city there is a BUSINESS called

TWIGGS that serves this and an intellectual stimulus
not quite found in the chain store cookie cutter realms
of others....

but then everything has its price
its reward
its bounty

(just thought of ships Bounty and the Cutty Sark for some reason)
\

author comment

Esker

Tue, 2012-09-04 12:12

Esker's picture

the torrid heat and rains
sipped by the gracious bean

there is nothing better then a fine cup of coffee

in my city there is a BUSINESS called

TWIGGS that serves this and an intellectual stimulus
not quite found in the chain store cookie cutter realms
of others....

but then everything has its price
its reward
its bounty

(just thought of ships Bounty and the Cutty Sark for some reason)
\

author comment

Ian.T

Wed, 2012-09-05 09:08

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Saw the programme of the "Cutty Sark" the other day, it is on show, just away from the Olympic games Equestrian section of the games.
The Bounty, well I was given a model of it by one of my dear friends just before he died about four years ago.
The model is about two feet in length and the masts are near as high,
I collect Norfolk Island stamps and a long time ago there were two Islands Norfolk and the Pitcairn Islands, both prison colonies of a while back, the Bounty was set fire to during those days in a bay of the Pitcairn Islands, not sure about the exact History but the model I have is much loved..
You must be remote viewing to see the Bounty, as I, when talking of having Coffee lol.
You take care out there I may start to write more on the Myths of the North American People, Yours, with many thoughts, Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

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