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the rights and wrongs of generations
Sometimes I wonder about the choices of right and wrong. So many times are we told to pick the right choice even if it's not the decision we desire. Well the problem at hand is that what I desire is usually "wrong". Perhaps why I can give in and justify my self diagnoses of being a "bad person". But what is right and wrong? Who decides that? Sometimes people can make a wrong choice but in the end, it turn out right. My grandmother cheated on my grandpa and had my father. It is wrong, because she deceived, and in turn destroyed a whole line of full blooded lineage that could have existed. On the other hand, it is right. Because here I am. Alive and able to have made my presence in the family as strong as one could with just water. Sometimes I wonder if the way my life is, happens to be because of my grandmother's choice. "The daughter of a bastard son cursed to reap the sins of the one who lay it upon her years ago." That could just be me though. I do always make the wrong decision.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction):
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words:
This is just something I jotted down in my thinking journal but I felt like I could kind of make something out of it.
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Geezer
Mon, 2022-08-22 02:40
Hmmmm...
I am sure that something could be made of this. This story leaves a lot of questions open and wanting answers. What happened between your grandfather and grandmother once the cheating was discovered? Did they divorce, did your grandfather treat you different than the other grandchildren? There are many things that pertinent and things waiting to be told. I hope you consider turning this into "something". ~ Geezer.
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renae miller
Mon, 2023-04-10 11:42
thanks for your comment! no
thanks for your comment! no one in the family knows that my grandmother had the affair. or at least my grandpa never found out. It was revealed to a cousin of mine after my granny (grandpa's mom) whispered it to her on her deathbed. then when my grandma (the one mentioned in the poem) died 3 years later me and my sisters found out. so perhaps I could include that in a way?
author commentRosewood Apothecary
Mon, 2022-08-22 20:56
I’d like to reformat
Sometimes I wonder about the choices of right and wrong
So many times are we told to pick the right choice
even if it's not the decision we desire
Well the problem at hand is that
what I desire is usually "wrong"
Perhaps why I can give in and
justify my self diagnoses of being a "bad person"
But what is right and wrong? Who decides that?
Sometimes people can make a wrong choice
but in the end, it turn out right
My grandmother
cheated on my grandpa and had my father
It is wrong, because she deceived,
and in turn destroyed a whole line
of full blooded lineage that could have existed
On the other hand, it is right because here I am
Alive and able to have made my presence in the family
as strong as one could with just water
Sometimes I wonder if the way my life is
happens to be because of my grandmother's choice
“The daughter of a bastard son cursed to reap
the sins of the one who lay it upon her years ago
That could just be me though
I do always make the wrong decision
I don’t know it seems more like poetry that way and should read like free verse. Sorry for F ing with it.
I like the logic. Reminds me of a favorite lyric of mine
“And then one day you find to your intense delight
That three wrong turns can really make a right
So why not be like me? be proud of all your crimes
'Cause when I screw up once, I do it two more times”
Nice job,
Tim