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Am Lost but Once was Found

Submitted by renae miller on Sun, 2023-05-14 02:03

There are roads I once drove as a girl. Screaming my head off, hair flailing in the wind, hanging out a jeep window.

I drive those same streets tonight.
Images of a girl, a me who no longer exist, attack relentlessly,
Inducing panic with their haunting persistence.

and I thought…

I had friends here once, we were family
oh sweet family
just water but thicker than blood

I had a life here once , uniquely mine.
oh it was mine

But it’s gone now.

I'm now just a presence in the lives of others,
I’m no longer my own person

But still, I remember the taste of gas station tacos,
The sensation of wet grass beneath my feet.
Faint hints of rice and beans still linger in my nose,
While dance hall music whispers in my ears.

Others may not realize it,
But I had a life once

and now, it's packed away in a 5x5 storage unit,
and Mom resides 1,285 miles away,
and I have no one to share my culture with,

and I feel alone
isolated with these memories of my past life
that now only exist in my mind .

oh how I had my life once

Review Request (Intensity):

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Last few words:

I don’t care if this is bad this is what’s I side my head. I’m angry and annoyed and sad and confused and my child hood is ending. I turn 20 the end of may in a convenient time for my mom to move from Texas to Ohio leaving me no more family in my homes town. I feel my childhood dead and no one in my life currently ever ask about my past life. it exist only to me. and I am sad so here is this poem. Thank Yoj

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Content level:

Not Explicit Content

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Comments

neopoet

Sun, 2023-05-14 02:03

Neopoet AI

The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

This poem "Am Lost but Once was Found" is a poignant reflection on the loss of one's former self and life. The opening lines create a vivid image of a carefree girl driving through the streets, and the contrast with the present day highlights the sense of loss and nostalgia that permeates the rest of the poem. The use of sensory details, such as the taste of gas station tacos and the sensation of wet grass, helps to ground the reader in the speaker's memories and make them feel more real.

One potential line edit could be to change "I'm merely a presence" to "I'm now just a presence" to emphasize that the speaker's identity has been reduced to a mere presence in the lives of others.

Overall, the poem effectively conveys the bittersweet emotions that come with looking back on one's past and realizing how much has changed. The theme of isolation and loss is handled with sensitivity, and the final lines leave a lasting impression on the reader.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Lavender

Sun, 2023-05-14 08:37