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PRESCRIPTION

Submitted by Esker on Thu, 2017-03-02 11:29

brown plain jayne wrapper
but I knew the sound
of her bootleg turn
the sandy rush of her
mane
and that growl of her motor
'look what the wind blew in'

all riders walk with a limp
like an inflection
tossed in to sweeten the
tones...
travellers with message honed
her heel was worn
damn near fifteen per cent
canter from carrying the thirty
eight..speed loads in her vest

ride was a sleeper but she was
bored max

'got mail for ya Sunni'
all good in the hood
three spikes on the ground
and one cap idling
should anyone come messin'
round

it was the worst of times
it was the best of times

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Geezer

Thu, 2017-03-02 14:23

Geezer's picture
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like a Steam-punk story of the pony express. Steam-punk is one of my new favorite genre.
I like this one and think I understand it. ~ Gee.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

weirdelf

Sun, 2017-03-05 05:37

weirdelf's picture
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you write like a machine gun, some is good, some is crap.
You are exactly like Lovedly, you write like a machine gun, some hit, most miss.
Why not think about what you write, consider it, think about it, instead of writing every word that fits in your head.
You know you are THE most un-read poet on Neopoet 'Undiscovered Work', check out, you are self-indulgent shit.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Esker

Sun, 2017-03-05 13:33

Esker's picture

mate U worked for the mines
for every ounce there is a ton
of trailings!

I like that you dislike me because ur Austraillian and
its the aussie way to speak ones mind
and I know U as a friend
its refreshing to hear the Kookaburro again!

Read the blog about the writing part
and I disagree with you mate
Your poetry has much vitality
and i hear U when U say there
are the dry spells

Thank U Weirdelf!

Mr Wolf!

author comment

weirdelf

Sun, 2017-03-05 18:01

weirdelf's picture
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I fuck up.
I will re-read this.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Esker

Sun, 2017-03-05 18:40

Esker's picture

I am self indulgent!!
I got a few homies that give me the finger
out here..theses cats live
got nine lives..they are not
fools

nor are U

I know what U are saying
we all got slumps man..
we lumped it out.
got a female on another
site...
shes head manager of huge
assed bank
daddies girl
oodles of money
shes got the same
grit and she and I like U
and still talk
management is hard business
bosses ...wont get into that one..

U bust your hump for this site
U believe in it
you got heart

Mr Wolf!!

author comment
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