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Portrait of a Man

Submitted by Rhiannon1010 on Sun, 2024-03-03 00:13

This portrait
Spread out before me
Of a man,
What a man could be.

Arms outspread in adulation,
In a radiant embrace
Of the world, the sky and sea.

Blistering sun and wind,
Cracked earthen cheeks
Receive teardrops of rain
A sacrifice of pain.

This fatted calf,
This wolf-in-sheeps-clothing.
Not lion, but jackal
Stealing babies in the night
Not lamb, but still a victim of industrialized slaughter.

The circle turns again.
Held up with
Nails he hammered in.
An appetite for his own
End

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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Comments

neopoet

Sun, 2024-03-03 06:13

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The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Portrait of a Man" delves into contrasting images and emotions associated with the portrayal of a man. The juxtaposition of adulation and sacrifice, strength and vulnerability, as well as predator and prey, creates a complex portrait that invites reflection on various aspects of masculinity and human nature.

The imagery of arms outspread in adulation and a radiant embrace of the world conveys a sense of openness and connection to the environment. This is juxtaposed with the harsh realities depicted through references to blistering sun, wind, and pain, suggesting a deeper layer of struggle and endurance.

The shift from admiration to darker undertones with the references to a wolf-in-sheep's-clothing and industrialized slaughter adds depth to the portrayal of the man, highlighting themes of deception and victimization. The mention of nails hammered in and an appetite for his own end introduces a sense of self-destructiveness or internal conflict, further complicating the character's depiction.

Overall, the poem effectively captures the complexities

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Geezer

Sun, 2024-03-03 11:18

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may yet reach the heights we aspire to, but we must realize that this little ball of mud in our galaxy, is our only home at the moment; and we need to share it, not fight over the rewards of it. If we don't, we will likely all perish. You have written a very strong rebuke to our fellow man. I applaud your message and the means of delivery. Great job, ~ Geezer.
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