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Pills, Restlessness & Prosody

An overdose of pills,
of heartache
and a nap
on the shrink's arm chair.

There's too much
to focus on;
so little time
to think on it.

It's like
an Olympic dash,
but the track extends
to the far future.

And I hear it doesn't end.

When there are no storms
to draw one's fancy,
one looks within,
at the hurricane;
in the mirror
a gorgon stares back blankly.

This is not a masquerade,
this is life.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Me right now.
Editing stage: 

Comments

The mood fades. :-)

No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot

http://www.wsgeorge.com/

author comment

I liked this piece, just that most of the AND's could be thrown away where it would not change the poem at all:-

Oh! for a perfect mirror,
If you see what I mean, Yours Ian.T

PS:- Your edit has made this shine out...

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Thanks Ian. I'm in the habit of using the conjunction. I probably won't be so hard on it, as your rewrite wants me to. The disconnect, I feel, is not in the poem's best interest.

Nonetheless, the remarkable change does prove a strong point. You're not the first to note it.

I'll remove as many as I deem unnecessary. Thanks for pointing it out. :-)

Note how I avoided the word... *wink*

No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot

http://www.wsgeorge.com/

author comment

Was a little harsh on removing them all but what a joy to include the word "And" in some places LOL. I always thought a Conjunction was when my sat nav told me to go the wrong way at a cross roads.
Take care Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Being harsh is much better. Any good poet should know how to take harsh critique.
Your help is most welcome, any day.

No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot

http://www.wsgeorge.com/

author comment

But instead of pills....you should eat some mushrooms and look into a mirror. You might find that gorgons are gorgeous creatures after all. Maybe you have just been programmed to think they are hideous. What would you do with a finish line anyways?

_Danny

I'm ok without mushrooms for now. :) Yes, we've been programmed to think they are hideous. We can be programmed to think of them as angels :)

A finish line is where this race finally ends, and we can sit back and watch the others do what we've done. It's rest and respite Danny, what we want.

Thanks for your comment.

No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot

http://www.wsgeorge.com/

author comment

Really like all the images a Nd they were unbelievably harsh but true. Thanks or no thanks?

Thanks :)

No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot

http://www.wsgeorge.com/

author comment

Scenes of life's dilemma. Who's NOT in?
Bravo!!

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
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I'm glad you liked it. "Scenes" tells me you thought the imagery was good enough to describe life's dilemma. This is when I get very honest with my poetry.

No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot

http://www.wsgeorge.com/

author comment
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