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In Parenthesis

Submitted by Eumolpus on Wed, 2018-06-13 23:28

To the Poet (1949-2049?)

We measure the universe by light speed
And while we live there are galaxies
In each of us which seem eternal.
But the time we spend among the living
Is put in numbers between parentheses.

The dates tell only the equation of fate,
Our lives reduced to the dash between them,
Not telling how we fit in the fashion of the age
Or the forces that directed our passing.

Alive, I am one of billions crossing a desert
In search of the Eden on Earth,
Witness to the brutal beauty of nature,
Courtship, and unimaginable history.

Now I am alive, like you are alive;
The honey tasted to Pharaoh or Caesar
No differently than to you or me,
Or how they worshipped hope of what will be;

It is long since they reached the silent infinity
Where a new and different kind of knowing
Became them, as it will of us;
In the full sky of changing clouds and stars,
Of no particular time or parenthesis
Released from the gravity of mathematics.

Last few words: 
Figured I'd assume to live to be 100, hence the years (1949-2049?). I should be so lucky. Or unlucky.
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

brittle light

Thu, 2018-06-14 04:07

brittle light's picture

..."Our lives reduced to the dash between them"...

that is a great and brilliantly insightful line
the whole poem exudes "smart"

and the multiple senses of "being released from the gravity of mathematics"
is also stunning.

you're really good at this poetry stuff!

I very much appreciate your intelligence and talent

Al

raj

Thu, 2018-06-14 15:38

This to me is not just great poetic stuff. It is a lesson on how to connect past by bringing it into the context of present and what it means to us. Of course you are well read and vision which reflect in the verses of your poetry.

regards...
...............................................................

raj (sublime_ocean)

lovedly

Thu, 2018-06-14 16:03

lovedly's picture

parenthesis u have put for ur age
you may cross the parenthesis
who knows
a guy came to our house and wanted to impress
If elephants could then live upto 100
why don't we believe man did 250 years

I laughed as being a bigger kid
WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE
he fled

why do you want to punish me
he said ..

BUT
today many still cross100 god* them must bless
here for*
read DOC

themoonman

Thu, 2018-06-14 18:32

themoonman's picture
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"our lives reduced to the dash between them"

Such a wonderful line, I just thought it sounded
better if you leave off the "them", and maybe the
"the" in the very next line ... (just suggestions)

Truly enjoyed your poem, thanks for sharing.

Eumolpus

Thu, 2018-06-14 22:12

Eumolpus's picture

And sincerely thank you for these comments! To touch a reader is one reason we all write and so means a lot
to me.

I will consider the idea of dropping “them”. My concern is that them refers to the dates and am not sure if dropping would keep that clear ...it does show me how carefully the poem was read for which I am also thankful
..

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

author comment

lovedly

Thu, 2018-06-21 13:43

lovedly's picture

or u'd prefer i delete it
which

Eumolpus

Thu, 2018-06-21 20:25

Eumolpus's picture

I just wasn't quite sure what to make of "DOC"...what it refers to..

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

author comment

lovedly

Thu, 2018-06-21 21:20

lovedly's picture

100 god*

them must bless
here

for*
read
Doctor

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