Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

The Obnoxious Moon

This murderous lonely moon
seldom shines in the noon

you have left your habitat
now sitting on our head tight

like a reckless culprit
unveiling his wit

we're not afraid, if you arise
like a lioness that slice

for we have survived the torture
of the sun set when things rupture

look at you, the obnoxious little brat
a dash light only once in awhile act

do you think we can never survive without
whether thy light shine or not we standout

© ® Onyinyechi Cosmos
2:33AM, 4/2/2022

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content


The moon does not always represent romance. It can be a harbinger of doom at times. It's refreshing to read unexpected ides put into poetic form!


. like my lost dreams...the flood

Thanks for reading through. Nice pointing out Trisk!

"Poetic license
the poets
the free will to
embroider a good tale
and deviate from the established rules of language"~Jackweb

author comment

there must be a legend or proverb connected with this one. Superstition can be a powerful force in the lives of some people.
Very interesting to see something of the sort from another country. ~ Geezer.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

(c) No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.