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o d e o n

sticky damp rivers
and white cigarette bodies
with slender brown tips
like a wreck
slinking into the shade
the yardage tilting
shinning hair and bright
scalps and tilted hats

horsehair itchy seats

darkness an eclipse
surrenders the hush
of voices
a murmur from the
stalwart banks
cupping expectation

and the shiver

back door bricked
metal from torch
bearers the electric
beam
and the whisper
of the curtian
sliding slow
filled with an ocean
of intensity
the wall of a dream
about to stutter to
life

Editing stage: 

Comments

when I read ur poetry
to me it seems
like a woman serpentine
around ye hopefully
to remain entwined
so be it
as ur Canada is fine

i have cleared
all poetry unread
except two will or may now do

loved

bending the abstraction to let the reader
allowances and tolerances of the works
speak to them in a personal matter...

I guess I could write it in third party voice
or masculine form or female...

something to ponder for me...
a lot of writing I like for its sensual detailing
be it brutal harsh or gentle
..

time running out..
must get moving

Thank You!

author comment

and
so I am also moving my body hastily
you know it
thanks to the sensuality of mind
like you have
none do

except perhaps like loved
may have some inkling
some clue
but not like you do,
do

loved

liked the line: "the wall of a dream
about to stutter
to life"
Great visual there! ~ Gee

Please acknowledge critique and comments.
They are a vital part of our community!
Critique or comment today!

there is something about timing....
the build up to a moment..

Be it speech delivery in oration
or the movies I enjoyed and enjoy
from the library (now that I have a cd and
television in my room again..)
or cable sat with its numeration of
digital stream broadcast.....

Thank You!

author comment
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