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This is not a love poem

Entertained a faerie whilst droplets
dripped,
dripped,
dripped,
down ridges that hid (though not meekly) from gentler touches of the world.

Other days he held wishes as carelessly as an evening holds the Summer breeze.
But not this.
The sheets of truth, unclean, now changed.
Made a bed for you out of silk.

Eyes, golden, looked like alchemy, the obvious handiwork of a fraud, please,
stay with him anyway. Until new light.
This could be the closest he’ll ever get.

Couldn’t find his eyes in ancient ink,
he scoured year after year
but he found it in you.

In a frame that could be traced with fingers, a warmth felt in the cold. Beauty.
If only for a moment.
If only for a quiet evening.
If only in the confines of a slightly damaged head.

You were my real fantasy. My blue valentine. It could never have last for a life.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Editing stage: 

Comments

saw that change immediate
great poem
the whole ritual of the pursuit
or broker of deal
passion..attainment
one way
there are others
such as the fast forwards
which some women
desire greatly

no not fiction
I knew very direct drive
intelligent beauties
for real...
wild man..

but I know those too
that loved the chair
being pulled out
the proper approach
setting..mood...
all down too attention
to detail

thank U!

I got attracted by the title. It is long and diffused. I prefer short but imaginative ones. The poem reads good to me. For a moment, I was thinking that you were dreaming of Mona Lisa! I believe I am wrong.

xxxxx

Exactly as it should be. Not a word or syllable out of place.
It touched me in strange way.
Interestingly, for a visually structured poem, it reads at it looks
https://soundcloud.com/neopoet/this-is-not-a-love-poem
May I post this to our Neopoet Facebook page?

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

It's comments like this that make me stick to writing on days when I'm doubting my potential as a writer so I thank you for that. I wrote it a while ago but it's still one of my favourite pieces so it means a lot that others enjoy it as well. I'd be thrilled to have it on the Facebook page.

Nicholas.

author comment

Jess Tapper, so I can invite you in to the Neopoet Facebook group. I remember you had some good ideas for it.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

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