Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

X, Y, Z.

Someone once told me I struggle with titles;
this person their persona they share with me.

As if such a thing could ever have mattered
when in this sea of pink-tinged flesh,
this cacophony of bodies all bustling for first
that surround us,
become us,
that is us,
at heart,
or so, seemingly, they'd like to jest.

For the youth have been showered in rose-petal graveyards,
and today, that youth, is me.

So our souls, we hold, like faux-precious stones
to the sun
to see if they'll glimmer.

Self-absorbed, perhaps,
but we do no less
we could be no less
and we are none less
than the flesh, seared, exposed,
to the harsh rays of dawn.

Stood together,
standing tall.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

i enjoyed it

always remember to make a critique of other poems
using the hoe is not madness for nothing

a good look at the human psych. In trying to be different, we are the same. Just two lines that I had trouble with. Rose petal [graveyards]? And You might want to add [We] stood together. There are lots of intricacies in this one. I like the simile of souls to faux-precious most. Nice stuff! ~ Gee.
.

The addition of a premium-membership can:
Help you navigate the site easier, change and create the look of your profile-page!
Just see what you can do! Add a bit of flavor to your profile and kick it up a notch!

A great read. Also the youth is the hope of the world, now more than ever, so do stand tall!

I really enjoyed "sea of pink-tinged flesh" sure is cacophony!

Theses lines are great
So our souls, we hold, like faux-precious stones
to the sun
to see if they'll glimmer.

I like jut about everything about this exceptional poem...except the title and even the first two lines.
Consider starting the poem with As if such a thing...I don't think we need the reference to titles and the actual very unusual title as they don't follow in the logic and sophistication of the rest of the work (just my take after a few short readings. ..)
Well done!

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.