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No Good Buddy

Nine times of ten,
We lay down our cards before the kings
Our hearts stop when their so called
Sleuths throttled our necks like a stray;
In the sleet we bath,
In the sun we dry our bones,
After drinking of their sherry;
They took a smattering in their mouths
Cover our faces,
It pains and hurts our eyes
For all their attitudes, we are smitten with them
They grin with their rotting teeth
Give us pompous smiles
By that time, we know
Our advocate is a shyster;
We pay alimony to them
Not our wives or husbands
After they made a serious allegation against us
And allotment is given to some of our men
That witness again us in the court
I believe our alley has fallen apart
When division is risen
There is no good buddy
Brunettes, draw near your husbands
Give them the kiss of life.

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Comments

I think you mean: nine times (out) of ten

"Our cardiovascular stops when their so called" drop cardiovascular. replace it with (heart) as it is simpler ad smoother.

Sleuths strangle our necks like a stray; instead of "strangle" use (ring or throttle)

In the sun we dry up our bones, ( the drop the word "up")

And sniff their snouts (drop this line as it makes no sense)

After drinking the brim of sherry; (after drinking of their sherry)

They smear a smattering in their mouths(They take a smattering in their mouths)

Over our faces, ( Cover not Over?)

It pains and hurts our eyeballs (It pains and hurts our eyes)

For all their attitudes, we (are) smitten with them

They grin with their smelly mouths (they grin with rotting teeth)

And give a smugly smiles ( drop "And" give us pompous smiles)

That made (alliterations) in the court (use the dictionary as this is the wrong word to use)

Hold their knuckles to says a keynote address (drop as this line makes no sense)

And give them the kiss of life. (drop "And")

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author comment

gotten here ahead of me, and delivered a very good amount of advice. I would not disagree with anything she has said.
~ Geezer.
.

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

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