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Namby Pamby

Namby pamby attitude
I'll be told I'm rude
pandering to criminals need
praising him for his greed
payout by insurance company
because he got hurt doing robbery
something is seriously wrong
victim lashed by judge's tongue
I'll be told I'm being radical
bring in someone practical

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage: 

Comments

the theme and your rhyming was good until you hit the lines: " something is seriously wrong " and victim lashed by judge's tongue". The pattern or pacing could be better, add or subtract a few words here and there. All in all, a very good start to a poem that a lot of people will identify with. ~ Geezer

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thanks geezer ill work on it x

author comment

thanks a mil lonnie ill try and tweak cheers x

author comment

I get the sense of injustice that someone should be paid for committing robbery

I think a full re-write is in order. Sure, start with being accused of namby pamby,
but then go straight to the intent of robbery,
then when injury is incurred thereby
blame the insurance vultures.

Just my thoughts.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Managing Directors, with Richard (themoonman)

Hi Jess thanks a mil you might be able to help me I have tried to edit one or 2 of my poems in particular little Boy because of advice received but I'm obviously doing something wrong it never saves my changes just reverts back to original sorry if I'm just being thick I'm sure its something simple I'm doing wrong any advice appreciated hope your well cheers Sueb

author comment

read poetry, the English Romantics, the American Beats, the best you can find here. Poetry has existed as long as the English language and you can not be expected to invent it yourself, unless you a a stellar genius, a Stphen Hawkings of poetry, and even he had to learn basic physics

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Managing Directors, with Richard (themoonman)

Hi Jess I agree but I was just asking how to edit my own stuff neopoet doesn't seem to accept my changes because I would like to accept advice given and work on what I've done cheers x

author comment

re-write it

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Managing Directors, with Richard (themoonman)

ok lol

author comment

To edit: choose the poem you want to edit,
at the top of the page you will find an "edit"
tab, make your edit and then at the bottom
of the page choose "save changes" ( I believe
that is what it says, or something close)

Hi the moonman thanks so much thats exactly what I've been trying to do I have made changes on poems but I'm doing something wrong its not saving them I'll try again your time and advice appreciated cheers Sueb x

author comment

Try it again but this time if it doesn't work,
run your cursor over the black line at the top
of the page, under the "help" tab choose
"contact neopoet" then select "bug report"
and leave a short explanation as to what is
happening and tell them what you use to get
here, internet explorer, mozilla or what, that
may have something to do with it.

will do thanks x

author comment
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