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MAY-DECEMBER: re-written

Submitted by Geremia on Thu, 2012-12-20 15:44

MAY and DECEMBER

I waited for your call.
It never came,
It was 2:00 A.M.
No doorbell rang.
My heart began to sink again.
Every time you walked through the door
and I saw you standing there
I thought my soul would never bear
the ecstasy
When you ran your fingers through my hair
the softness of your touch spoke fire
and your caresses whispered love.
but nothing lasts forever,

you are May
I am December.

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

scribbler

Thu, 2012-12-20 18:48

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Well I reckon getting you looking through your older stuff isn't a total waste of time lol. Hmmm.......That last lines begs for a bit more brevity I think. Maybe something like "so I'll remember"?..................stan

Geremia

Thu, 2012-12-20 19:19

Geremia's picture

I will think about change, It may be too ,uch like prose.I like the abrupt transition "I want to remember>"

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Ian.T

Thu, 2012-12-20 18:55

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Your time is folded, stretch out and reach for the stars, a good write just that last line,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Geremia

Thu, 2012-12-20 19:20

Geremia's picture

Well, looks like last goes.

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loved

Fri, 2012-12-21 00:40

loved's picture

December are not opposites ...
but opposite of Dec is Cancer...JULY
hahaaha
good imagination and desire/HOPE/vision

loved

Geremia

Fri, 2012-12-21 03:31

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ok: :)

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Ian.T

Fri, 2012-12-21 04:02

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Don't know where our dear loved gets his opposites from but here's a clue:- Northern hemisphere Dec 21st shortest day March 25th Vernal equinox June 21st longest day and then September 23rd ?? autumn equinox.. For the Southern hemisphere reverse the longest and shortest days dates.
Give or take a few days.
In the UK these were called the quarter days, when all bills and taxes had to be paid by, it is a very interesting subject, we still have a few of the old Tithe barns where people had to go pay their 10% Tithe sometimes paid with by a sheep or what ever was valued at a tenth of their wealth etc: have a great day out there, sorry about all the snow, well it is Xmas lol, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

loved

Fri, 2012-12-21 10:29

loved's picture

for my book

THE HUMAN MIND

then you will know
what naive loved had meant ..
lolololol

loved

Ian.T

Fri, 2012-12-21 11:11

Ian.T's picture
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I have a book before me it is called:-
"The Oxford Companion to THE MIND."
It is edited by Richard L. Gregory.
What a beautiful look at the mind,
Many of the subjects are so interesting and all in alphabetical order so that it is easy to refer to.
I hope that your book with be as enlightening as this one is..
Thanks for your reply and if you are writing a book will you please reserve a copy for me,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

loved

Fri, 2012-12-21 11:17

loved's picture

will relate to cycles in human life
and only strong minded and self willed persons will be permitted to buy
Thank you for your reserving a copy
shall take it as a credit
Ian
you are a strong man

loved

loved

Fri, 2012-12-21 10:26

loved's picture

and many many more
and may you continue
to compose poetry galore
including of yore...

loved

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