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Learning to fly!

Submitted by Leslie on Sun, 2024-04-07 02:59

Seized by a gust of wind
caught by complete surprize,
but he knew enough as well
just to hold on tight!
Up, up and away
heading towards the sky.
Umbrella clenched in death grip
he rose up four feet high.
His mother grabbed his shoe
and pulled him to her side.
Another crazy incident
that could have gone awry!

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Last few words: 
This was a true experience, however I know it can use a lot of help. You can critique it how you will. I will take any suggestions.
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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Comments

Lavender

Mon, 2024-04-08 13:08

Lavender's picture
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Hello, Leslie,
So this really happened? How scary at the moment, and how wild looking back! I think you've captured this unique incident with its whimsy and its possibilities to go "awry." Lovely loose rhyme which adds to its novelty!
Thank you!
L

Leslie

Mon, 2024-04-08 15:01

Leslie's picture

Thank you for your comment. It definately was a scary thing. My former spouse pulled him down out of traffic. I thought that my son was going over the fence into the soccer field!

The power of our language can and will change the world.
Successively until our languages become one!

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