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The Leaf

See! the leaf is playing
Dancing to the wind-swaying
Its beautifully green
Or is it a dream-screen?
Suddenly the sun is shining
The leaf is still dancing
Maybe its not feeling the heat
Maybe there is no heat
But now the leaf is turning yellow
Sun-heating it below
The leaf is tattered
Yellow-green green-yellow scattered
The leaf is dancing still
But gradually becoming still
With its energy decreasing
Wit time and timing
That which felt everything
Suddenly feels and becomes nothing
That which was filled with desires
Now lie still-expired
An old energy seeking a new body
Again it acquires one with malady
Caught up in this cycle of suffering called life
The cycle continues with suffering and strife

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
feel free.....
Editing stage: 


you have drawn a good simile between life of a leaf and aging of a living...good rhythm too...


raj (sublime_ocean)

thanks for reading


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