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ISLANDS

Submitted by Geremia on Wed, 2013-06-12 16:29

ISLANDS

Somewhere in space and time
I lost a life that was mine.
all things seem strange to me
suddenly
I don't fit any longer
in a world
of cozy corners.

My days are understated
and the silence sinks deep
into isolation

I feel the edge of glass
cutting words
indifference
cold and sharp
rip and tear
into my heart.

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Ian.T

Thu, 2013-06-13 03:47

Ian.T's picture
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This is a cry from a lonely place, it is hard to be alone as the mind drives the conscious level into many places not normally travelled.
Just an addition to Stanza 2..
into isolation = "I have become Isolated"
This extra would maybe make that part flow a little more ???
I do hope you are finding others to talk to and be part of there, it is a pity I haven't the funds to travel the world as I would have been there with you for a while, but I ask the children and Sister Teresa to visit instead..
Take care young Joe and know we care, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Geremia

Thu, 2013-06-13 08:52

Geremia's picture

thank you, Ian.

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