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I Learned This Day..(That I Need U More Each Day)

it’s been roasting inside my flat,
so i took a stand-by in the roof top…
as i stand there to catch the night breeze
realized that something to me was missing…

it’s been a puzzle for couples of weeks
i see it’s newborn yet seems so fixed,
this can’t be love…it just need some space,
but i’m totally guilty of the sweetest case

she’s in my dreams whenever i go to sleep
maybe destiny is really making a powertrip,
but from this calling who could ever escape?
better grab some potato chips and my lemon drink..

dragging myself in front of a public phone,
as if i’ll call you up and ask, “Can i drive you home?”
the thousands i want to tell you on the line,
falls down to a single “Hi” everytime i hear your smile

eversince i met you the game went not the same,
i’m missing you just all the cycle: night and day….
the feeling is going greater day by day….
and what could i only do…? show and pray..

last night, i went downtown to buy some rose,
but found nothing except stores all closed..
is there any cure to this tireless toes?
maybe no effect even i take an excessive dose..

when the world wanted pair by pair,
things and stories…you sometimes share,
i feel captured and this was rare,
please take care ‘cause i do really care…

i felt like in the middle of a sea,
maybe i need some help from Dora,
you really hit something inside of me
faster than rays: alpha, beta and gamma…

i’ve been foolish counting the days on the calendar..
to the day we could be together in the same wedding car
i don’t care if ever i came just a wildcard,
i will keep holding on though i can i see you very far….

for this love, i will cross the odds
with or against..i can face the risks
and get wiser spending the given chance
even we have no idea of what will happen next..

somebody wake me up if i was just dreaming
the excitement grows..i can’t deny she’s heaven,
what my fear is when i missed her in ev’rything..
the hearthbreak could have been worse than Nine-Eleven…

now that we’re here in the final stanza,
the last lines should not be comic or a drama,
something that won’t give me a bad Karma..
wish our worlds will still collide even after Nirvana..

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Comments

starts in desperation and ends in hope. this piece looks a little like you combined two similar works together as it seems the rhyming just comes and goes. hope you find her, scat.

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