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A Story From The East (Inspired By The West)

It's more of a Friday night though it's a Sunday morn
for the Sun's so alive,filled with lights reborn
from my rusty bed a new hope came into life
a new care for honor but am I worth the fight?
or at least I'm to draw blood from my fist,
back to the trail where I fell dead with a dance and breeze
so that little by little I could retain courage to leave this fright,
whenever the ghost of her is drawn to my dimming sight...
twenty years are wasted in an ugly face of the Earth,
twenty years are spent on hardship,pains and dirt..
from that sixty seconds you were happy and were hurt,
it drives me so marked to now I need countless rebirth.
and how late was I to respond back to the scene of sense?
when the world's not even thinking about my new existence,
the Gods, mine not yours ,know how man should live
never does a mortal soul go divine when tries to forgive.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
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Editing stage: 

Comments

My favorite lines:

back to the trail where I fell dead with a dance and breeze
so that little by little I could retain courage to leave this fright,
whenever the ghost of her is drawn to my dimming sight...

I liked your title and rhyming scheme! Content was inspiring!

always, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

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