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I am Clay

Mold me into any form or shape
I’ll blend into your creation
All vibrant patterns and color’s fit
and come together in perfect unison
I can be anything you want me to be
pretty, smart, or brave
I will stand tall and proud
but if you leave me out, and forget about me
I might start to harden
to develop a crabby shell
I could become hard to work with
as you struggle to flatten me out
But a drop of water, like a drop of kindness
can make me soft again
watch my colors become more vibrant
and my texture smooth as silk
then take me into your loving hands
and mold me the way you wish.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

i really love your idea,
so for an example i have just edited to show you how it could be clearer to understand.

Mold me into any form or shape
I’ll blend into your creation
All patterns and color’s fit
all come together in perfect unison
I can be anything you want me to be
pretty, smart, or brave
standing tall and proud
but if you leave me out, and forget about me
I might start to harden
or develop a crabby shell
I could become hard to work with
and anger you too.
As you try to squish me out
but a drop of water, like a drop of kindness
can make me soft again
watch my colors become more vibrant
and my texture smooth as silk
then take me into your loving hands
and mold me the way you wish.

i hope i have given some ideas in here. i love your theme its really powerful, and of course, we all have feelings and indeed if we are treated with respect and kindness and even love it helps us flourish. Brava.

Thank you...Teddy

Hi Viviana,

nice poem, nice idea. I especially like the cadence of the poem, it almost controlled my breathing. Was this meant to be a cadence poem, or is it just that I see it that way?

T

The most powerful reaction
of mind on mind
is transference of sight

is so beautiful, I want to see it in a short-story. :) Perhaps someday someone shall see this and turn it into a tale. Well done on the thought-basis of this poem.
The rhyming and meter, however, are very rough and do need a lot of work. But your idea is so solid, I don't doubt a rework could do great good.

"To reveal art and conceal the artist is art's true aim." Oscar Wilde

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