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A tribute to my mother

Submitted by Viviana Smith on Fri, 2023-05-12 10:16

My mother never really showed me she cared
My mother told me to go out and become someone worth something
My mother killed all the thoughts I had of being worth something
My mother lashed at my skin with her cruel words
My mother made all my insecurities what they are today
My mother laughed at the tears falling from my eyes
My mother only wanted to fix me, not seek help for us both
My mother shut the door to our house in my face
My mother kicked me out of the family without me having to leave
My mother hit me til my skin was black and blue
My mother scared my friends and never let them come around
My mother didn’t understand the pain I felt inside
My mother called me a freak until I started to believe it
My mother told me I'm broken and I can't be fixed
But my mother is broken on the inside too

Review Request (Intensity):

I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Last few words:

This may not seem like a perfect mothers day poem, but I grew up without a perfect mother, therefore my experiance with mothers is different than most

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Contest:

A Tribute To Mother

Content level:

Not Explicit Content

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Comments

neopoet

Fri, 2023-05-12 10:16

Neopoet AI (premium)

The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

This poem is a powerful and emotional tribute to a mother who has caused pain and suffering to the writer. The use of repetition in the opening lines is effective in conveying the extent of the neglect and abuse the writer has experienced from their mother. The poem is raw and honest, and the writer's pain is palpable throughout.

One suggested line edit could be to change "My mother only wanted to fix me not get me help" to "My mother only wanted to fix me, not seek help for us both." This edit would add to the understanding that the mother is also struggling and in need of help, rather than simply being a cruel and abusive figure.

Overall, this poem is a moving tribute to the complicated and painful relationship between a mother and child. It is a reminder that even in the face of neglect and abuse, there is always hope for healing and understanding.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Viviana Smith

Fri, 2023-05-12 10:16

my mother

This may not seem like a perfect mothers day poem, but I grew up without a perfect mother, therefore my experiance with mothers is different than most

Kisses,
Vivi

author comment

Geezer

Fri, 2023-05-12 10:59

So sorry...

that you have not ever experienced a mother's love, only her dissatisfaction with who you are. I was very, very fortunate to have an awesome mother's love, however, my father was not a nice person, and being an alcoholic, was very self-centered and only cared about his addiction. I felt your pain and the repetition of "My mother" brought home the agony of knowing that other people have and have had, wonderful mothers. Normally, I would have eschewed that repetition and tried to find another way to say those lines. This time, I am aware and understand the need for it. I do think that you may have somewhat of an understanding that perhaps she didn't know how to behave any other way, and she was broken, not you. Good work and I hope that some kind of catharsis. ~ Geez.
.

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M4GG0TM3NT4L

Fri, 2023-05-12 12:16

I hope this poem helped you

I hope this poem helped you cope with what has happened to you in some way. this poem is stark, and raw. i relate to it somewhat myself even. it reminds us not everyone is blessed with perfect parents.

-m4gg0t was here

you could call me soph if you'd like.

The phantom of the opera is there. Inside my mind.

Lavender

Fri, 2023-05-12 13:15

A Tribute To Mother

Hello, Vivian,
I also hope that writing this helps you forgive, heal, and move forward - even if it's just a little at a time. You have a strong message, and it's well written. I'm glad you share your poetry - there are others who need to experience it just as much as you need to write it. Warmest regards,
L

Neopoet

A tribute to my mother