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A Heated Desire
I’ve seen and breathed and felt
The wood-works
The earthworks
The weavings
The paintings
And the writings
Project images of realities
And my heart pounded countless times
And restless like a heated desire
That makes me yearn to journey more
Into the past, and the present
And the days yet to dawn upon our moor
With the beauties of these hands
Mentored by the mind's eyes.
This heated desire
Is a true journey to an origin
Of a magic world hidden inside us.
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
Candlewitch
Wed, 2012-02-08 11:04
Dear WonderGolly,
line 1: breathed for breath (past tense)
line 8: pounded for pound (past tense)
My favorite lines:
And the days yet to dawn upon our moor
With the beauties of these hands
Mentored by the mind's eyes.
This heated desire
Is a true journey to an origin
Of a magic world hidden inside us.
filled with feelings of passion and a zest for living!
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
WonderGolly
Wed, 2012-02-15 16:47
Candlewitch,,
sorry for taking long to respond. was offline line for some days. Now, I'm back.
Thanks for your comment and the corrections. I admit, my grammar is a bit shaky. I'll do the corrections.
thank you.
respects
WonderGolly :)
respects.
WonderGolly
What I love most about POETS is how they write SADNESS with SUNSHINE on their face, caption RAIN with FALLEN EMBERS and paint TEARS using the colours of WATERFALLS:lol
author commentCandlewitch
Fri, 2012-02-17 12:45
Dear WonderGolly,
:) welcome back! I enjoy reading your work.
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
WonderGolly
Sat, 2012-02-18 06:43
Hi Candlewitch,,,,
I haven't words enough to thank you for continuous reading of my works and the corrections. I have a lot to learn and I am grateful to have you around.
respects
WonderGolly :)
respects.
WonderGolly
What I love most about POETS is how they write SADNESS with SUNSHINE on their face, caption RAIN with FALLEN EMBERS and paint TEARS using the colours of WATERFALLS:lol
author commentBarbara Writes
Fri, 2012-03-16 01:18
hi
I think your work good
very deep understanding the inner self is a challenge to write well you did very well
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
WonderGolly
Fri, 2012-03-16 07:44
nice to have you around. A
nice to have you around. A Heated Desire is a understanding of the self and an appreciation of the marvelous works of other craftsmen whose art / creativity inspire us to bring out the hidden talent / beauty in us.
thanks for the read.
respects.
WonderGolly :)
respects.
WonderGolly
What I love most about POETS is how they write SADNESS with SUNSHINE on their face, caption RAIN with FALLEN EMBERS and paint TEARS using the colours of WATERFALLS:lol
author commentBarbara Writes
Fri, 2012-03-16 11:05
i will some day be so talented as you
Happy to be around
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
WonderGolly
Fri, 2012-03-16 11:51
hahaha!!!
I'll take that as an Irony coming from a teacher to a student. Actually, a Heated Desire was composed from reading the works of masters / teachers like you.
Me, I am just another naive amateur writing verses. lolz.
respects.
WonderGolly :)
respects.
WonderGolly
What I love most about POETS is how they write SADNESS with SUNSHINE on their face, caption RAIN with FALLEN EMBERS and paint TEARS using the colours of WATERFALLS:lol
author commentBarbara Writes
Fri, 2012-03-16 13:05
born to teach i am
Poetry writing I'm still learning from you and everyone here. Teachers learn from student and vice-versa.
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
WonderGolly
Fri, 2012-03-16 18:09
You're right
Learning is never done. It's an endless process.
but in the poetry class, the teacher is always the teacher.
and the student knows his place, a student. lolz
respects.
WonderGolly :)
respects.
WonderGolly
What I love most about POETS is how they write SADNESS with SUNSHINE on their face, caption RAIN with FALLEN EMBERS and paint TEARS using the colours of WATERFALLS:lol
author commentBarbara Writes
Fri, 2012-03-16 20:55
maybe true
But here at Neopoet we are a family with talents each its own that help us all become better poets.
You may be an amateur as you say, but still the qualities in your work teaches even if you are not incline to do so :)
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
WonderGolly
Sat, 2012-03-17 07:24
True
we learn from each others work. Personally, some of the WORKSHOP
submission and feedback have been helpful.
neopeot is a lovely community to be a part of.
respects.
WonderGolly :)
respects.
WonderGolly
What I love most about POETS is how they write SADNESS with SUNSHINE on their face, caption RAIN with FALLEN EMBERS and paint TEARS using the colours of WATERFALLS:lol
author commentBarbara Writes
Sat, 2012-03-17 10:05
great
I have a workshop coming up on "meters for absolute beginers" shortly why not join. You'll have fun.
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
WonderGolly
Sat, 2012-03-17 13:41
wonderful
thanks for informing me. meters/ hexameter/pentameter etc,
I have a really serious problem understanding them.
To be frank, I don't even know if I "unknowingly" apply them in my work. lolz.
so, I'll be looking forward to joining the workshop.
respects:
WonderGolly :)
respects.
WonderGolly
What I love most about POETS is how they write SADNESS with SUNSHINE on their face, caption RAIN with FALLEN EMBERS and paint TEARS using the colours of WATERFALLS:lol
author commentBarbara Writes
Sat, 2012-03-17 22:10
great
Looking forward yo having you join
Here's the link. http://www.neopoet.com/workshop/basic-meter-absolute-beginners
Pm me for a request and I will add on. It'd starts Monday march 30
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community