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A Golden Eagle

A Golden Eagle

While working in the pasture where the waters shed,
A golden eagle swooped just over my head.
I could feel the wind from his large wings,
As he flew to a near oak by the clearings.
The size of his body was humbling to me that day,
As he preached in the tree less than halfway.
I slowly walked under the oak limb,
And looked up at him.
With the Texas sun shinning he was beautiful to behold,
It looked as if he was wrapped in feathers of pure gold,
We gawked at each other eye to eye,
He nodded his head as if in reply.
I knew from his worn feathers that he was old and wise,
Turning his head first left then right he agreed with a sigh.
His beak and talons were scarred and large,
Perhaps from many fights and use for forage.
There I asked him of his woe,
And my words he seemed to know.
He opened his great wings as he spoke
With a shrieking loud croak,
As to say “Old fool I’ve come to see why you dig in the dirt
Not for a lecture in my life’s assert!”
With that he moved his great wings and lifted off,
Leaving me in awe with such a grand takeoff.
Surely he was indeed a wise old bird,
But had not time to waste with an old buzzard!

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
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Comments

The content is amazing, i think it just needs some smoothing out here and there. A heartfelt welcome to Neopoet. Regards Rosscoe

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

Agree with Roscoe here, this one could stand a more
even meter but other than that, great content with a
a very good ending.

You may even consider a couple of line breaks.

thanks for posting

Richard

But I think this poem is bullshit.

I agree with Roscoe and Richard that it could be written better.

But what really shits me is the hubris of relating to an eagle. I am a shaman and I know they have no brain beyond a predatory search for food.

It was an honest attempt, but failed because there is no relation there. If eagle is your totem it means you are an endangered predator who will not survive in this world.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Managing Directors, with Richard (themoonman)

One could make the same statement about most of
mankind. To think that an animal (which we are by the
way) has no wisdom in their choices teeters on old
caveman ideas. Of course there is thought, how else
would any species survive? Eagles are endangered
because of us, not by their bad choices.

I apologise.
I was once was a shaman, I understand symbols.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Managing Directors, with Richard (themoonman)

Only because I try and fail at it...
Fear keeps me writing Free verse

I was not trained to be a Shaman
In North America one is taken along
on medicine gathering ..taught songs
in the original language..dance..
encouraged to build structures of
ceremonial importance and to follow
a strict code adhering to lifestyle
and conduct that dis allows alcohol
and drugs...Medicine bundles are passed
down from generation to generation

My grandfathers on my mothers side
and my fathers side were Chiefs
and my uncles are medicine peoples

My moms dad had visions
and people were aware of mothers powers

I like that you related to the Eagle and talk to
this animal..Some say Spirit...There are many
who shoot these animals as they are predators
with very much power in their talons and feet
and their vision and beak..Thus the respect for
their power and to want to be honoured with
this animal as a family totem

There are eagle bone whistles and to recieve an
eagle feather is a great honour

My own original name is Eagle
and we were said to fly highest to the creator and
give him the messages
in the old traditional systems..

but all that is changed now of course

Their majestic size is something worthy though
to note and to be inspired to write a poem

I have seen only one Bald Eagle up our way
long ago....

You have good rhyme and punctuation
both things I dont have
so you are way ahead of me drachm

I have not been far far south in America
but the vast change in your countries
topography and people and animals
always made me want to be a traveller
or Trampen...

I can merely travel here with words

Thank You!

Thank you for you comments and thoughts. I appreciate them. I am a retired rancher and find many people to day are alienated from animals and nature. When you live on hundreds of acres and miles from your nearest neighbor----open range and the bright sun during the day and only the star and/or moon light at night---only then can you really appreciate the wonders of nature, the wonders of heaven, and the wonders of animals in their own domains. I have also lived in Africa. I've worked in the outbacks of Kenya, Ethiopia, Somalia, Sudan and walked in the Sahara in Egypt---which is exceptional at night. More than once have animals saved my life---mainly from my own stupidity of their environment. Earlier man must held a deep respect for animals and their "spirits" and intelligence. Modern man is so devoid of their behavior and understanding as to degrade them to nothing more then slugs in our way. Drachm

author comment

Not all narritive poetry has to relate in my opinion. But that which is most remembered usually does. One simple way to add a bit of such to this poem would be to simply change "an" to this in last line. I think that breaking this into 4 line stanzas would make for easier reading and that then reading it out loud to yourself would reveal rhythm stumbles. Now having said all that, I liked the story and imagery here and feel confident you can tinker this into a really good poem.

Welcome to Neo and hope you enjoy it here....................stan

Now this means that I can put my Eagle talk on stream, lol, and the Spirit Eagle will be accepted in several quarters.
I write many bits about Spirit Bears and the Eagle, though the creatures that we only know in myth must remain so.
I believe that what we think we are and if you wish to make a Dragon then there some place in the ether is a beautiful creature you have made with your thought.
This is about a real Eagle yet it bordered on the Spirit ones I know from the children's stories I have been told, so I have gone into my records and found the talk with the Eagle which I shall put as a Blog or on stream in the next few days, take care only think of good things, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

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