Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

If Life Were Only Poetry

Oh, if life were only poetry!
I would fill my love’s cup
With yonder bright stars.
And make of her life
More of heaven then earth.
I would take from her flowing lips
The sweet charms of nippy kisses.
I’d watch her eyes flicker as a busy bee
As she takes in the nectar of a garden rose.
Oh, if only I could fill her cup
With the passions from my heart.
To endlessly write of her loveliness;
Yet, dwell in ever word penned.
Oh, if life were only poetry!

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage: 


A wonderful start for you here. Very close to myown style when I write love lyrics. So I like this poem immensely. Needs tweaking, its not perfect but you have something to work with.


What are some of the tweaks?


author comment

The real problem with this poem is life is poetry,
it's just not always rosy and sweet.

Pay attention to the meter or flow of words,
sometimes a longer sentence doesn't break
the momentum but in this case (in my opinion)
it does.

Nippy; I'd find a more descriptive word there,
"Yet, dwell in ever word penned"
maybe " dwelling in every word penned"

welcome to the site


Thank you Richard for the good advice.

author comment
(c) No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.